NON-DUALITY
The Journey Ahead….
1 - January - Introduction & Prepare for the Journey
2 - February - Feels like Something is Missing
3 - March - Uncover the Clues
4 - April - Locate the Missing Pieces
5 - May - Land a New Approach
6 - June - Concentrate your Practice
7 - July - Impressions of Home
8 - August - Recognize your Wholeness
9 - September - Completely Gone
10 - October - Long for Nothing
11 - November - Enter the World Again
12 - December - Your Homecoming Graduation
1 - January - Introduction & Prepare for the Journey
2 - February - Feels like Something is Missing
3 - March - Uncover the Clues
4 - April - Locate the Missing Pieces
5 - May - Land a New Approach
6 - June - Concentrate your Practice
7 - July - Impressions of Home
8 - August - Recognize your Wholeness
9 - September - Completely Gone
10 - October - Long for Nothing
11 - November - Enter the World Again
12 - December - Your Homecoming Graduation
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/2023-08-09-01-39-03.png?1691559590)
Peter's Poem & Reflection for February
Feels Like Something Is Missing
I ask myself what masks I wear?
Oh, how I've misplaced my identity
Often I think why should I care?
But then I struggle with my sanity
When I'm hiding the source of my despair
I fail to find tranquility
This lonely trek with no tracks to compare
Has me questioning my ability Questions for contemplation:
1.What is YOUR definition of a mask?
2. Do you see masks as good or bad?
3. What is your favorite mask?
4. What is your least favorite mask?
5. Is it possible to live in this world without any mask?
Feels Like Something Is Missing
I ask myself what masks I wear?
Oh, how I've misplaced my identity
Often I think why should I care?
But then I struggle with my sanity
When I'm hiding the source of my despair
I fail to find tranquility
This lonely trek with no tracks to compare
Has me questioning my ability Questions for contemplation:
1.What is YOUR definition of a mask?
2. Do you see masks as good or bad?
3. What is your favorite mask?
4. What is your least favorite mask?
5. Is it possible to live in this world without any mask?
February 1st - Recap of the Big Questions
=> Who (or what) Am I? (are you willing to give up everything for the answer?)
=> Who (or What) is having this Experience?
(Presence is recognized anytime we ask, what is having this experience?)
Who is the thinker? (Corollary: thoughts can't think)
Who is the perceiver?
Who is it that senses and feels?
Who is it that Wills and Acts? Who is the doer?
Just This or THIS! All there is IS THIS!
Awareness is always the same right here and now, the contents only change.
Words all in a nondual context where subject and object are "not 2":
Witnessing Presence
Awareness
Pure Being
Self
I AM that I AM
=> Who (or what) Am I? (are you willing to give up everything for the answer?)
=> Who (or What) is having this Experience?
(Presence is recognized anytime we ask, what is having this experience?)
Who is the thinker? (Corollary: thoughts can't think)
Who is the perceiver?
Who is it that senses and feels?
Who is it that Wills and Acts? Who is the doer?
Just This or THIS! All there is IS THIS!
Awareness is always the same right here and now, the contents only change.
Words all in a nondual context where subject and object are "not 2":
Witnessing Presence
Awareness
Pure Being
Self
I AM that I AM
February 2nd - To Witness or Not to Witness, That is the Question.
Question: The observer is not really detached though, right? Person and weights/workout are all nondual in awareness? Some teachers say the detached Witness is a first step before eventually even that drops away in nondual Isness, Thusness, Suchness , Just This, etc.
When I hear you Peter say Witnessing Presence, I assume it is the nondual version where the paper and what is written upon it are not two (versus the paper observing what is written on it as a detached witness , ie watching your thoughts).
In your wrestling match in Scotland (I love that example), was the witnessing presence detached or involved (or both or neither...LOL).
Peter's Reply: Again the trouble with language! What occurs on the screen of awareness is also a passing part of the screen's experience. As if we could even say it experiences itself. All awareness knows is its own experience of awareness. It doesn't know itself as 'something'. It only knows itself. And yes, the detached witness first recognizes two things, awareness and a body, object, world. When it realizes it is aware of itself, then the mind/body is just another object and no different from any other object/world. Ultimately, the paper and the words are one, but observed from a nondual perspective.
My Response: Thanks Peter, that makes sense and yet it doesn't, because it probably shouldn't...LOL. Like Hamlet said, "Words, words, words..."
But I have to say Peter, your words are very fragrant, so while the mind may go in circles, something is going deeper.
Peter Replied Back: The meditation account I've cited about my body becoming like stone and how scared I became because I couldn't return to it...? It was because I (awareness) suddenly realized I wasn't a body and it was part of the projected illusionary world I inhabited (and of course am now speaking/typing from.) "When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
Some extra commentary:
That sounds like what is called Nirvikalpa samadhi though that is just a word. So would this be the blank in the Ox herding pictures. It is said the Ego still remains though afterwards as it experience does not persist.
Of course if there is still an ego this is not the final state (there are still 2 steps in the ox herding pictures), which both seem (to me) to be Sahaja samadhi (appropriately "natural") which is the natural Nondual Awareness or Presence. It is said in this state the ego dies or rather it is clearly recognized that it never was. You cannot believe in Santa once you know he isn't real. Santa did not die, you recognize he simply never existed.
Called sometimes "One Taste" (or turiyatita) because it is recognized as really the only stateless state and has actually been so all along. It is just One Nondual Awareness 'tasting itself' whether there are contents in that awareness or not that sustains now through waking , dream and deep sleep.
*When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
A nice koan to ponder!
First There becomes Here
Then Here - so near - disappears
And the Self is Seen!
(All becomes the Self)
-----
Commentary - Evolving Self
(Intellect) Persona/Shadow - Integrated mind - Integral Worldview - No contradictions in beliefs
(Centaur) Body/Mind - Integrated Bodymind - Deal with what comes up, conditioning in body)
(Witness/Causal) Detached Witness (Rising Above Bodymind) - Awareness + Body/Mind/Objects/World
(Nondual) Body/Mind and World - Nondual Isness - Awareness and Wold are one but observed from nondual perspective.
1) Psychoanalysis {Persona-Shadow Duality} strengthen ego and zen get rid of the ego.
Unite persona and shadow that were split to give a strong ego. (Ego-Centric)
**Work on Integral Thinking**
2) Humanistic {Body-Mind Duality} - People split mind from their body.
Cure for this is to unit mind and body into a unified organism.
Thinking and feeling, integrated self. (Ego-Centric but whole)
**Deal with what comes up, conditioning in body**
3) Biosocial {Ego-Society Cultural Duality} - feel total organism depends on social orientations, sex, race, etc. Find your social identity. It starts with family, but we don't get to choose our family. Finding a group/tribe/religion/political party you can feel One with. (Ethno-Centric)
**Serve others as your own self**
4) Mystical Tradition Part 1 - (Witness/Causal) Detached Witness (Rising Above Bodymind) - Awareness + Body/Mind/Objects/World (World-Centric)
**Be the Witness**
5) Mystical Tradition Part 2 {Nonduality Primal Subject-Object Duality} - No, even if you find your social identity and accomplish mind body union and shadow persona healing, the real problem is you split your entire organism from the rest of the world (illusion of separateness). Your real identity is actually one with the entire universe. Need to rediscover this prior and true identity by finding the Ultimate Ground or Oneness that unites your Organism with all of the Universe. Suffer because you split your true identity... Split self vs other, subject vs object. Real and Supreme Identity One with the All. Ultimate Unity Consciousness. (Nondual-Centric - Kosmos Centric - Circle with center everywhere but circumference no where).
**Just Be - Nondual Witnessing Presence**
Question: The observer is not really detached though, right? Person and weights/workout are all nondual in awareness? Some teachers say the detached Witness is a first step before eventually even that drops away in nondual Isness, Thusness, Suchness , Just This, etc.
When I hear you Peter say Witnessing Presence, I assume it is the nondual version where the paper and what is written upon it are not two (versus the paper observing what is written on it as a detached witness , ie watching your thoughts).
In your wrestling match in Scotland (I love that example), was the witnessing presence detached or involved (or both or neither...LOL).
Peter's Reply: Again the trouble with language! What occurs on the screen of awareness is also a passing part of the screen's experience. As if we could even say it experiences itself. All awareness knows is its own experience of awareness. It doesn't know itself as 'something'. It only knows itself. And yes, the detached witness first recognizes two things, awareness and a body, object, world. When it realizes it is aware of itself, then the mind/body is just another object and no different from any other object/world. Ultimately, the paper and the words are one, but observed from a nondual perspective.
My Response: Thanks Peter, that makes sense and yet it doesn't, because it probably shouldn't...LOL. Like Hamlet said, "Words, words, words..."
But I have to say Peter, your words are very fragrant, so while the mind may go in circles, something is going deeper.
Peter Replied Back: The meditation account I've cited about my body becoming like stone and how scared I became because I couldn't return to it...? It was because I (awareness) suddenly realized I wasn't a body and it was part of the projected illusionary world I inhabited (and of course am now speaking/typing from.) "When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
Some extra commentary:
That sounds like what is called Nirvikalpa samadhi though that is just a word. So would this be the blank in the Ox herding pictures. It is said the Ego still remains though afterwards as it experience does not persist.
Of course if there is still an ego this is not the final state (there are still 2 steps in the ox herding pictures), which both seem (to me) to be Sahaja samadhi (appropriately "natural") which is the natural Nondual Awareness or Presence. It is said in this state the ego dies or rather it is clearly recognized that it never was. You cannot believe in Santa once you know he isn't real. Santa did not die, you recognize he simply never existed.
Called sometimes "One Taste" (or turiyatita) because it is recognized as really the only stateless state and has actually been so all along. It is just One Nondual Awareness 'tasting itself' whether there are contents in that awareness or not that sustains now through waking , dream and deep sleep.
*When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
A nice koan to ponder!
First There becomes Here
Then Here - so near - disappears
And the Self is Seen!
(All becomes the Self)
-----
Commentary - Evolving Self
(Intellect) Persona/Shadow - Integrated mind - Integral Worldview - No contradictions in beliefs
(Centaur) Body/Mind - Integrated Bodymind - Deal with what comes up, conditioning in body)
(Witness/Causal) Detached Witness (Rising Above Bodymind) - Awareness + Body/Mind/Objects/World
(Nondual) Body/Mind and World - Nondual Isness - Awareness and Wold are one but observed from nondual perspective.
1) Psychoanalysis {Persona-Shadow Duality} strengthen ego and zen get rid of the ego.
Unite persona and shadow that were split to give a strong ego. (Ego-Centric)
**Work on Integral Thinking**
2) Humanistic {Body-Mind Duality} - People split mind from their body.
Cure for this is to unit mind and body into a unified organism.
Thinking and feeling, integrated self. (Ego-Centric but whole)
**Deal with what comes up, conditioning in body**
3) Biosocial {Ego-Society Cultural Duality} - feel total organism depends on social orientations, sex, race, etc. Find your social identity. It starts with family, but we don't get to choose our family. Finding a group/tribe/religion/political party you can feel One with. (Ethno-Centric)
**Serve others as your own self**
4) Mystical Tradition Part 1 - (Witness/Causal) Detached Witness (Rising Above Bodymind) - Awareness + Body/Mind/Objects/World (World-Centric)
**Be the Witness**
5) Mystical Tradition Part 2 {Nonduality Primal Subject-Object Duality} - No, even if you find your social identity and accomplish mind body union and shadow persona healing, the real problem is you split your entire organism from the rest of the world (illusion of separateness). Your real identity is actually one with the entire universe. Need to rediscover this prior and true identity by finding the Ultimate Ground or Oneness that unites your Organism with all of the Universe. Suffer because you split your true identity... Split self vs other, subject vs object. Real and Supreme Identity One with the All. Ultimate Unity Consciousness. (Nondual-Centric - Kosmos Centric - Circle with center everywhere but circumference no where).
**Just Be - Nondual Witnessing Presence**
February 3rd - "Who or What is Now Experiencing this Moment?"
Morning Haiku, (not feeling well waking up)
Starting day heavy
I repeat the name of God
everything Lightens!
Question asked to Peter: Without something to perceive, the self wouldn't know it existed, right?
Peter's Answer: A "separate self" would have no feedback of the existence of the movie. Self, as Awareness always only knows itself.
Peter Part 2: It is best for our discussion to view 'self' as that which is having this experience. Yet, when examined more deeply by the mind, no self is ever found. Only awareness being aware which both negates and includes mind stuff.
My Question: Peter in reference to your last comment, some sages I resonate with like Ramana Maharshi do recommend what you say, examining more deeply this idea of self (with a smaller case "s") or ego or "I" thought. The nonpractice is repeating "Who am I?" and going within to investigate who or what this "I" or ego (Bryant) is? It is not meditation, it is rather "holding on" to who or what that is meditating. When the mind wanders Ramana recommends questioning, to whom do these thoughts arise or again, who am I, who is the thinker of these thoughts, who is the experiencer, etc.?
Ramana echoes what you say that upon investigation no self or I or ego is found. It is a ghost, a phantom, nothing more but this is something everyone must "See" for themselves with their own "Eye" of wisdom.
I know that ultimately there is nothing you can do to attain what already is, but it seems helpful as a non-practice along with constantly "remembering" the immediacy of pure awareness or "just this".
So perhaps there are some things we can "do" but with the right understanding that full realization is already right here and now?
Peter's answer to my question: I fully agree, as long as "doing" carries with it no expectation of a "future" reward or accomplishment. I have often recommended asking this question as, "Who or what is now experiencing this moment?" And in the process eliminating everything that is not 'self'. Neti neti. The degree of self honesty should be tested to the max. And having the courage to actually let go of what cannot be validated as self. Ouch!!!
Someone Asked Peter about doing something that effectively doesn't accomplish anything versus doing nothing at all. He gave the analogy of a group of sages on a raft floating effortlessly downstream versus another flailing his arms splashing trying to make his raft go faster.
Peter's answer:
I ask myself, "Is it playful, or do I have to work at it?" Today was a gym day and the gym owner and I got to really push each other doing set after set of dumbbell presses etc.. and playing it to failure. Then since he's a jujitsu guy, he wanted to test some techniques with me. My arms now have purple bruises from playing hard. Getting home, I decide to spilt up some bigger pieces of firewood. (Its now below zero with a brisk wind). Standing there, I'm hypnotized by the blueness of the sky and how pleasant it is to inhale the air and feel the sting on my face. It is like floating down a scenic river from breakfast to having lunch with Katrina at one of our favorite places. And now relaxing in our cozy home, listening to the wind blow and the temperatures drop. No issues, no action, just this moment all day. Just this moment all day.
----
In the evening I was tuned into Anandamayi ma, my Beloved Istadeva and archetype (to me) of the Divine Mother, the Great Creative force of the visible (and invisible) Kosmos. Her deepest teachings were nondual to the core, though in general she always gave instruction to meet the level or state of the person seeing her.
Something of hers that struck me like lightning last night was this idea of a Supreme Moment.
In her words:
"Once the mind, in the course of its movement, has felt the touch of the Indivisible, if only you can grasp that Moment! In that Supreme Moment, all moments are contained, and when you have captured it, all Moments will be yours!" She added that IT is present each moment, but we miss it all the time.
This inspired some Haikus:
Oh Supreme Moment
duality collapses
and the One Shines forth!
The Supreme Being
Present in every moment
stop seeking and See!
Enter the current
of the flowless Timeless Now
that leads to you Self!
There is a Moment
where All moments are contained
That Moment is Now!
Anandamayi went on to describe it as an electric discharge, when the union of opposites comes together the Supreme Being flashes forth!
Once the mind touches
the Indivisible One
the Self Flashes forth!
Morning Haiku, (not feeling well waking up)
Starting day heavy
I repeat the name of God
everything Lightens!
Question asked to Peter: Without something to perceive, the self wouldn't know it existed, right?
Peter's Answer: A "separate self" would have no feedback of the existence of the movie. Self, as Awareness always only knows itself.
Peter Part 2: It is best for our discussion to view 'self' as that which is having this experience. Yet, when examined more deeply by the mind, no self is ever found. Only awareness being aware which both negates and includes mind stuff.
My Question: Peter in reference to your last comment, some sages I resonate with like Ramana Maharshi do recommend what you say, examining more deeply this idea of self (with a smaller case "s") or ego or "I" thought. The nonpractice is repeating "Who am I?" and going within to investigate who or what this "I" or ego (Bryant) is? It is not meditation, it is rather "holding on" to who or what that is meditating. When the mind wanders Ramana recommends questioning, to whom do these thoughts arise or again, who am I, who is the thinker of these thoughts, who is the experiencer, etc.?
Ramana echoes what you say that upon investigation no self or I or ego is found. It is a ghost, a phantom, nothing more but this is something everyone must "See" for themselves with their own "Eye" of wisdom.
I know that ultimately there is nothing you can do to attain what already is, but it seems helpful as a non-practice along with constantly "remembering" the immediacy of pure awareness or "just this".
So perhaps there are some things we can "do" but with the right understanding that full realization is already right here and now?
Peter's answer to my question: I fully agree, as long as "doing" carries with it no expectation of a "future" reward or accomplishment. I have often recommended asking this question as, "Who or what is now experiencing this moment?" And in the process eliminating everything that is not 'self'. Neti neti. The degree of self honesty should be tested to the max. And having the courage to actually let go of what cannot be validated as self. Ouch!!!
Someone Asked Peter about doing something that effectively doesn't accomplish anything versus doing nothing at all. He gave the analogy of a group of sages on a raft floating effortlessly downstream versus another flailing his arms splashing trying to make his raft go faster.
Peter's answer:
I ask myself, "Is it playful, or do I have to work at it?" Today was a gym day and the gym owner and I got to really push each other doing set after set of dumbbell presses etc.. and playing it to failure. Then since he's a jujitsu guy, he wanted to test some techniques with me. My arms now have purple bruises from playing hard. Getting home, I decide to spilt up some bigger pieces of firewood. (Its now below zero with a brisk wind). Standing there, I'm hypnotized by the blueness of the sky and how pleasant it is to inhale the air and feel the sting on my face. It is like floating down a scenic river from breakfast to having lunch with Katrina at one of our favorite places. And now relaxing in our cozy home, listening to the wind blow and the temperatures drop. No issues, no action, just this moment all day. Just this moment all day.
----
In the evening I was tuned into Anandamayi ma, my Beloved Istadeva and archetype (to me) of the Divine Mother, the Great Creative force of the visible (and invisible) Kosmos. Her deepest teachings were nondual to the core, though in general she always gave instruction to meet the level or state of the person seeing her.
Something of hers that struck me like lightning last night was this idea of a Supreme Moment.
In her words:
"Once the mind, in the course of its movement, has felt the touch of the Indivisible, if only you can grasp that Moment! In that Supreme Moment, all moments are contained, and when you have captured it, all Moments will be yours!" She added that IT is present each moment, but we miss it all the time.
This inspired some Haikus:
Oh Supreme Moment
duality collapses
and the One Shines forth!
The Supreme Being
Present in every moment
stop seeking and See!
Enter the current
of the flowless Timeless Now
that leads to you Self!
There is a Moment
where All moments are contained
That Moment is Now!
Anandamayi went on to describe it as an electric discharge, when the union of opposites comes together the Supreme Being flashes forth!
Once the mind touches
the Indivisible One
the Self Flashes forth!
February 4th - Awareness Dancing with Itself
Peter's post for the day: Sitting in my rocking chair by the fire, sipping coffee, I muse; Awareness is dancing with itself to the music of words that the mind creates.
I made it into a little Haiku:
Awareness Dances
With Itself to song and words
that the Mind creates.
---
Great Evening with Ma... Spent the night reading and singing to her.
Had a REAL Soulful Song Come through!
Couple Haikus inspired by Ma.
We wear ornaments
in this Garden of Glitter
and must bear their weight.
Ascent and descent
exist just for the ego
Truth Itself is One!
Through the Gateless Gate
of Enlightenment we pass
each Here-Now Moment
Peter's post for the day: Sitting in my rocking chair by the fire, sipping coffee, I muse; Awareness is dancing with itself to the music of words that the mind creates.
I made it into a little Haiku:
Awareness Dances
With Itself to song and words
that the Mind creates.
---
Great Evening with Ma... Spent the night reading and singing to her.
Had a REAL Soulful Song Come through!
Couple Haikus inspired by Ma.
We wear ornaments
in this Garden of Glitter
and must bear their weight.
Ascent and descent
exist just for the ego
Truth Itself is One!
Through the Gateless Gate
of Enlightenment we pass
each Here-Now Moment
February 5th - Hsin Hsin Ming (Memorize - Original teachings of Zen).
**Verses on the Perfect Mind**
Pretty nice 1:45 meditation/Japa with nice silence (little bit of a headache).
How do you know the "I"?
Do you need to hold a mirror and see it?
No, you simply feel it and know.
Haiku:
You simply feel "I"
no mirror is required
to "See" THIS Unseen.
Nice video Peter shared by Rupert Spira on time
My comments: I like how he says the Present is not a moment, it is simply Everpresent. And ultimately, we cannot even think of this Everpresent "Eternal Now", because it is beyond the mind and conception. He poetically said it is like trying to see white snow through orange tinted glasses. Love it!
But yet we need pointers to talk about the beauty of living in this Everpresent Now Moment, we just need make sure we are looking where the finger is pointing.
----
Another Question to Peter:
In previous meditation I have been told I hold the key. I have been searching to find out what key and to what? So your picture is very interesting to me and It can't go unnoticed.
Peter's Reply:
Before the mind appears there is only awareness experiencing awareness. When the mind joins the party, it crashes in with other guests, such as objects, persons, a body and the world. which are all made out of mind. However, taking a step back to see where mind comes from we come to pure awareness or simply being present/presence. Throw the key away, because the gate isn't locked. It is ever present.
Her question back:
you know my next question would be about that gatekeeper that I have also heard during meditation.
Peter's Answer:
The gatekeeper is like a guard that requires you to give the correct answer to a riddle before he will let you pass. The mind is the gatekeeper that presents a koan that you must answer before you can enter the full realm of presence.
This Inspired My Question to Peter Today:
Peter if you feel inspired to share, what are some of your favorite Koans? It seems to me the most potent and direct is "Who Am I?" or as you put it "Who or what is now experiencing this moment?". Those seem like powerful gatekeepers whose answer is only passing through the gateless gate into the 'Realm of Presence' as you poetically put it.
I have also heard you mention these two koans,
1) Show me your Original face before your parents were born.
2) Show me What swallows the Universe.
Any others that have been helpful?
Peter's Reply: Some of my favorite pointers are Hsin, Hsin Ming, the Heart Sutra, Vedanta, etc... I would highly recommend committing the Hsin Hsin Ming to memory. Work with some koans and so on.
I order the Hsin Hsin Ming, and plan on memorizing it.
---
Nice Haiku watching Three ducks paddling in the pond. Such a peaceful and tranquil sight.
Three ducks in a pond
paddling as One in Peace
- no trail left behind.
**Verses on the Perfect Mind**
Pretty nice 1:45 meditation/Japa with nice silence (little bit of a headache).
How do you know the "I"?
Do you need to hold a mirror and see it?
No, you simply feel it and know.
Haiku:
You simply feel "I"
no mirror is required
to "See" THIS Unseen.
Nice video Peter shared by Rupert Spira on time
My comments: I like how he says the Present is not a moment, it is simply Everpresent. And ultimately, we cannot even think of this Everpresent "Eternal Now", because it is beyond the mind and conception. He poetically said it is like trying to see white snow through orange tinted glasses. Love it!
But yet we need pointers to talk about the beauty of living in this Everpresent Now Moment, we just need make sure we are looking where the finger is pointing.
----
Another Question to Peter:
In previous meditation I have been told I hold the key. I have been searching to find out what key and to what? So your picture is very interesting to me and It can't go unnoticed.
Peter's Reply:
Before the mind appears there is only awareness experiencing awareness. When the mind joins the party, it crashes in with other guests, such as objects, persons, a body and the world. which are all made out of mind. However, taking a step back to see where mind comes from we come to pure awareness or simply being present/presence. Throw the key away, because the gate isn't locked. It is ever present.
Her question back:
you know my next question would be about that gatekeeper that I have also heard during meditation.
Peter's Answer:
The gatekeeper is like a guard that requires you to give the correct answer to a riddle before he will let you pass. The mind is the gatekeeper that presents a koan that you must answer before you can enter the full realm of presence.
This Inspired My Question to Peter Today:
Peter if you feel inspired to share, what are some of your favorite Koans? It seems to me the most potent and direct is "Who Am I?" or as you put it "Who or what is now experiencing this moment?". Those seem like powerful gatekeepers whose answer is only passing through the gateless gate into the 'Realm of Presence' as you poetically put it.
I have also heard you mention these two koans,
1) Show me your Original face before your parents were born.
2) Show me What swallows the Universe.
Any others that have been helpful?
Peter's Reply: Some of my favorite pointers are Hsin, Hsin Ming, the Heart Sutra, Vedanta, etc... I would highly recommend committing the Hsin Hsin Ming to memory. Work with some koans and so on.
I order the Hsin Hsin Ming, and plan on memorizing it.
---
Nice Haiku watching Three ducks paddling in the pond. Such a peaceful and tranquil sight.
Three ducks in a pond
paddling as One in Peace
- no trail left behind.
February 6th - The Eye that Never Sleeps
Had a good meditation today, felt more sucked into the Heart, but then got suck out with too much mental activity. But after meditation, I felt Light in both brilliance and weight. I love that feeling of lightness. A little Haiku came through.
My Heart feels so Light!
heaviness and darkness gone
floating in the Now.
Every step I take
in this vast journey of Life
I shall make my Home
---
I asked Peter a question about it:
Peter, up until I have it memorized the Hsin Hsin Ming, I am going to read it daily. Reading today a couple passages unexpectedly moved me. So beautiful and fragrant with the essence of Zen, or at least what I understand as Zen, this is IT!. So thanks for the recommendation!
One phrase struck me from the Putkonen translation,
"the eye that never sleeps".
Now this eye that never sleeps reminds me of this idea I read about in Ken Wilber's writings called "Constant Consciousness" which is I guess the Turiya state where you are able to Witness waking, dream and deep sleep without the apparent loss of consciousness. Now it was humbling for me to read this because I have no recollection of ever being aware during deep sleep and even lucid or pellucid dreaming for that matter is rare. I can recall my dreams, but I seem kinda lost in them during the dream. I know this nondual awareness always IS, but being aware of awareness "seems" to not be there...yet. I remember in one of your seminars you talked about how you could watch yourself/body fall asleep reminiscent of this Turiya witnessing state. I have tried that unsuccessfully on a number of occasions. You have also said something to effect that you become like a 'big eyeball', just watching (If I remember correctly).
So as a playful goalless goal, is maintaining conscious awareness through all three states a sign of progress? I know there is nothing we can do to become what we are, but the paradox is it "seems" our conscious awareness gets 'submerged' a bit in sleep and almost completely in deep sleep.
Peter's Answer:
Descriptions engage the mind but, choice-less awareness frees it. The Hsin, Hsin Ming states; "The more you talk and think about it, the further astray you wander from the truth."
The mind is always seeking the future, but what is present can only be recognized in the gap between thoughts.
All thoughts, methods and techniques promise a future which never comes.
Now with me saying all this, ...I am still 'saying' something about it. There's no secret to the "sleep meditation" except consciously not expecting anything. Then, 'nothing' may happen! Ha, haa! You can't expect to remember being conscious in deep sleep, because there's nothing to remember. It is without content, which isn't something the mind can't process. So it can't be spoken. But you know it as your being-ness.
I shared a link to the Hsin Hsin Ming.
And Peter Replied:
----
Comment, I decided not to post...
It is said that Turiya which means "fourth" is a fourth "state" of consciousness where one is able to consciously Witness all three states of waking, dream and deep sleep shifting to this pure perception or nonsleeping eye.
Peter said this the other day: *When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
My understanding of this (still philosophical at this point) is the "here" revealed I would take as the Witnessing Turiya state, where you can Watch all three states (it is said). You are able to witness thoughts, body, emotions, etc realizing you are not those experiences, but something more able to Witness.
But when the here dissolves and the self is seen, that would be what is called Turiyatita, beyond the fourth, which is the state of pure nondual awareness (beyond words), but all states become One State , or sometimes called One Taste as it is seen everything always here now is pure Awareness, "Just This". This is also called Sahaja Samadhi where the self is always "seen", the natural samadhi because it is always everpresent.
Had a good meditation today, felt more sucked into the Heart, but then got suck out with too much mental activity. But after meditation, I felt Light in both brilliance and weight. I love that feeling of lightness. A little Haiku came through.
My Heart feels so Light!
heaviness and darkness gone
floating in the Now.
Every step I take
in this vast journey of Life
I shall make my Home
---
I asked Peter a question about it:
Peter, up until I have it memorized the Hsin Hsin Ming, I am going to read it daily. Reading today a couple passages unexpectedly moved me. So beautiful and fragrant with the essence of Zen, or at least what I understand as Zen, this is IT!. So thanks for the recommendation!
One phrase struck me from the Putkonen translation,
"the eye that never sleeps".
Now this eye that never sleeps reminds me of this idea I read about in Ken Wilber's writings called "Constant Consciousness" which is I guess the Turiya state where you are able to Witness waking, dream and deep sleep without the apparent loss of consciousness. Now it was humbling for me to read this because I have no recollection of ever being aware during deep sleep and even lucid or pellucid dreaming for that matter is rare. I can recall my dreams, but I seem kinda lost in them during the dream. I know this nondual awareness always IS, but being aware of awareness "seems" to not be there...yet. I remember in one of your seminars you talked about how you could watch yourself/body fall asleep reminiscent of this Turiya witnessing state. I have tried that unsuccessfully on a number of occasions. You have also said something to effect that you become like a 'big eyeball', just watching (If I remember correctly).
So as a playful goalless goal, is maintaining conscious awareness through all three states a sign of progress? I know there is nothing we can do to become what we are, but the paradox is it "seems" our conscious awareness gets 'submerged' a bit in sleep and almost completely in deep sleep.
Peter's Answer:
Descriptions engage the mind but, choice-less awareness frees it. The Hsin, Hsin Ming states; "The more you talk and think about it, the further astray you wander from the truth."
The mind is always seeking the future, but what is present can only be recognized in the gap between thoughts.
All thoughts, methods and techniques promise a future which never comes.
Now with me saying all this, ...I am still 'saying' something about it. There's no secret to the "sleep meditation" except consciously not expecting anything. Then, 'nothing' may happen! Ha, haa! You can't expect to remember being conscious in deep sleep, because there's nothing to remember. It is without content, which isn't something the mind can't process. So it can't be spoken. But you know it as your being-ness.
I shared a link to the Hsin Hsin Ming.
And Peter Replied:
----
Comment, I decided not to post...
It is said that Turiya which means "fourth" is a fourth "state" of consciousness where one is able to consciously Witness all three states of waking, dream and deep sleep shifting to this pure perception or nonsleeping eye.
Peter said this the other day: *When the 'there' dissolves, the 'here' is revealed. When the 'here' dissolves, the self is seen."
My understanding of this (still philosophical at this point) is the "here" revealed I would take as the Witnessing Turiya state, where you can Watch all three states (it is said). You are able to witness thoughts, body, emotions, etc realizing you are not those experiences, but something more able to Witness.
But when the here dissolves and the self is seen, that would be what is called Turiyatita, beyond the fourth, which is the state of pure nondual awareness (beyond words), but all states become One State , or sometimes called One Taste as it is seen everything always here now is pure Awareness, "Just This". This is also called Sahaja Samadhi where the self is always "seen", the natural samadhi because it is always everpresent.
February 7th - Hsin Hsin Ming V1 and Masks
V1 (memorized)
The Great Way is not difficult
for those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent,
everything becomes clear and undisguised
Make even the slightest distinction however,
and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.
Peter asked us all today: 1) What is your definition of a mask? Post below.
My first answer:
The ego projection of my little separate self that I want the world to see in the various roles I play. So there is a whole big collection of them...lol. The masks can have layers of mental beliefs, emotions, energies, attitudes, appearances, and different names as "worn" by myself and seen by different people and groups. It seems the masks are partly responsible for reinforcing the experience of duality and "masking" the true self... though they need not have to if worn with right understanding.
Then I added:
It just dawned on me a lot of times our masks are molded to "fit in" with various groups and people so we can be "liked", which in some ways is not being authentic. Perhaps no masks are needed at all and we can just always remain "Our true original face before our parents were born". Or perhaps some masks make life easier as long as we do not identify with them (for exammple, in various work and parenting situations)? Then there are all the masks of countless past lives. What a collection we have amassed...LOL.
This is a fun and deeper question than I originally thought.
Finally one more:
Julie's post made me realize that some masks are of the "shadow self" remaining in dark places until triggered by what we deem as unpleasant life events. These masks "seem" forced upon us and bring about those things we typically do not like about ourselves. Other masks "seem" like we have more control in putting on or taking off.
Gosh what freedom it must be to cast them all into the fires of Knowledge!
I guess this is where the radical self honesty comes in and the *Ouch*
Ok that is all...lol.
Exercise done with Ken Wilbers Course:
One of the conclusions of this approach "what the mystery is not" is that YOU are not who you think you are. You've taken this mystery and covered it up with a bunch of names, and labels and identities and concepts which really takes you away from the mystery of who and what you really are. Start by making a list of who you think you are right now.
Bryant, pemf/energy medicine expert, business owner, father, son, brother, friend, Busters daddy, client, luxury car owner, Physicist, nutritionist, minister, yogi, Ma's devotee, Bhakta, kid.
Object, other, can be known or seen. List (of descriptions) is a bunch of stuff that can be seen.
Not a subject but an object, not something that is the Seer, but that which is seen.
This traditions would maintain that all these things you just described is not your real self, it is exactly what you are NOT!
It is a list of false self, mistaken self, a very small and limited self, because it is just a bunch of objects, not your real self, not your true self.
In short, your true self is a constant stream of pure witnessing awareness. It is the witness that is doing the seeing.
V1 (memorized)
The Great Way is not difficult
for those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent,
everything becomes clear and undisguised
Make even the slightest distinction however,
and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.
Peter asked us all today: 1) What is your definition of a mask? Post below.
My first answer:
The ego projection of my little separate self that I want the world to see in the various roles I play. So there is a whole big collection of them...lol. The masks can have layers of mental beliefs, emotions, energies, attitudes, appearances, and different names as "worn" by myself and seen by different people and groups. It seems the masks are partly responsible for reinforcing the experience of duality and "masking" the true self... though they need not have to if worn with right understanding.
Then I added:
It just dawned on me a lot of times our masks are molded to "fit in" with various groups and people so we can be "liked", which in some ways is not being authentic. Perhaps no masks are needed at all and we can just always remain "Our true original face before our parents were born". Or perhaps some masks make life easier as long as we do not identify with them (for exammple, in various work and parenting situations)? Then there are all the masks of countless past lives. What a collection we have amassed...LOL.
This is a fun and deeper question than I originally thought.
Finally one more:
Julie's post made me realize that some masks are of the "shadow self" remaining in dark places until triggered by what we deem as unpleasant life events. These masks "seem" forced upon us and bring about those things we typically do not like about ourselves. Other masks "seem" like we have more control in putting on or taking off.
Gosh what freedom it must be to cast them all into the fires of Knowledge!
I guess this is where the radical self honesty comes in and the *Ouch*
Ok that is all...lol.
Exercise done with Ken Wilbers Course:
One of the conclusions of this approach "what the mystery is not" is that YOU are not who you think you are. You've taken this mystery and covered it up with a bunch of names, and labels and identities and concepts which really takes you away from the mystery of who and what you really are. Start by making a list of who you think you are right now.
Bryant, pemf/energy medicine expert, business owner, father, son, brother, friend, Busters daddy, client, luxury car owner, Physicist, nutritionist, minister, yogi, Ma's devotee, Bhakta, kid.
Object, other, can be known or seen. List (of descriptions) is a bunch of stuff that can be seen.
Not a subject but an object, not something that is the Seer, but that which is seen.
This traditions would maintain that all these things you just described is not your real self, it is exactly what you are NOT!
It is a list of false self, mistaken self, a very small and limited self, because it is just a bunch of objects, not your real self, not your true self.
In short, your true self is a constant stream of pure witnessing awareness. It is the witness that is doing the seeing.
February 8th - Question Today is
2. Do you see masks as good or bad?
My Answer #1: Ultimate nothing is good or bad, but from the relative side of things, it seems masks can be healthy or unhealthy (or bad). Healthy when we play the role knowing we are not the role. Easier said than done, but It seems masks can come in handy in the workplace and at home in parenting for example. However, they can be unhealthy when we identify with the role, lose ourselves in it, or when some shadow elements become triggered and we don a mask we do not like and probably rightfully call that mask "bad" in the sense that it is unhealthy (ie anger) for our body, mind and those around us. Perhaps the un-process is not to lose all masks but to remain true to the Self and playfully play various roles donning colorful masks but in a way where we know we are not the role, it's just a play.
My Answer #2: It just occurred to me the Mask behind all masks is this "I-thought", "ego", "I am the body idea", etc. It's like the "mask master" who holds the key to the closet of masks. But the "I" or "ego" is itself is a mask that eventually falls away according to the nondual sages. They say something to the effect that this "root mask" or I-thought, once it falls away the whole house of cards comes down. So perhaps ultimately there is no mask in this nondual Isness, even if it seems from others vantage points, that you may act certain ways in certain situations.
I don't know it's a mystery how we became a separate self (the Great Mask, ie Maya) at all? LOL.
Joseph Campbell Quote on Masks:
"The images of God are many, 'the masks of eternity'. They both cover and reveal the Face of Glory. All our names and images for God are masks, they signify that Ultimate Reality, by definition, transcends language and art."
What struck me is him saying that masks both cover AND REVEAL the 'Face of Glory'. Something to ponder (not just an obstacle).
2. Do you see masks as good or bad?
My Answer #1: Ultimate nothing is good or bad, but from the relative side of things, it seems masks can be healthy or unhealthy (or bad). Healthy when we play the role knowing we are not the role. Easier said than done, but It seems masks can come in handy in the workplace and at home in parenting for example. However, they can be unhealthy when we identify with the role, lose ourselves in it, or when some shadow elements become triggered and we don a mask we do not like and probably rightfully call that mask "bad" in the sense that it is unhealthy (ie anger) for our body, mind and those around us. Perhaps the un-process is not to lose all masks but to remain true to the Self and playfully play various roles donning colorful masks but in a way where we know we are not the role, it's just a play.
My Answer #2: It just occurred to me the Mask behind all masks is this "I-thought", "ego", "I am the body idea", etc. It's like the "mask master" who holds the key to the closet of masks. But the "I" or "ego" is itself is a mask that eventually falls away according to the nondual sages. They say something to the effect that this "root mask" or I-thought, once it falls away the whole house of cards comes down. So perhaps ultimately there is no mask in this nondual Isness, even if it seems from others vantage points, that you may act certain ways in certain situations.
I don't know it's a mystery how we became a separate self (the Great Mask, ie Maya) at all? LOL.
Joseph Campbell Quote on Masks:
"The images of God are many, 'the masks of eternity'. They both cover and reveal the Face of Glory. All our names and images for God are masks, they signify that Ultimate Reality, by definition, transcends language and art."
What struck me is him saying that masks both cover AND REVEAL the 'Face of Glory'. Something to ponder (not just an obstacle).
February 9th - Question Today is
3. What is your favorite mask?
My Answer: A couple of my favorites are the "comedian mask", the "devotee mask", the "poet mask", the "energy medicine expert mask", and in general I like "the teacher" mask too. Of all these masks, I would say the "devotee mask" is the most transparent but still pink tinted and a little dualistic. The mask I am longing for is the clear mask stuffed with emptiness, that my True Self (that I am already) may shine like a diamond with no obstruction.
3. What is your favorite mask?
My Answer: A couple of my favorites are the "comedian mask", the "devotee mask", the "poet mask", the "energy medicine expert mask", and in general I like "the teacher" mask too. Of all these masks, I would say the "devotee mask" is the most transparent but still pink tinted and a little dualistic. The mask I am longing for is the clear mask stuffed with emptiness, that my True Self (that I am already) may shine like a diamond with no obstruction.
February 10th - Question Today is:
4. What is your least favorite mask:
I echoed Bonnies reply: My least favorite mask is the one that jumps on my face when I’m vulnerable or stressed, even though I was sure I had put that one away for good. Darned opportunistic mask, anyway!
4. What is your least favorite mask:
I echoed Bonnies reply: My least favorite mask is the one that jumps on my face when I’m vulnerable or stressed, even though I was sure I had put that one away for good. Darned opportunistic mask, anyway!
February 11th -
5. Is it possible to live in this world without a mask?
My answer: I don't know? Maybe when the illusory ego/separate self/"I-am-the-body-idea" is 'really' gone, I'll know..LOL. But currently it seems I am still choosing to wear a mask of some sort or another and it "appears" to be a necessity.
But it seems logical from nondual teachers and teachings that yes it is possible to live and remain as your "Original Face" with no mask (even if others "try" put a mask on you when you act spontaneously in different ways - yet you, the real "You" remains maskless).
Which of course brings me back to "Who am I?"
5. Is it possible to live in this world without a mask?
My answer: I don't know? Maybe when the illusory ego/separate self/"I-am-the-body-idea" is 'really' gone, I'll know..LOL. But currently it seems I am still choosing to wear a mask of some sort or another and it "appears" to be a necessity.
But it seems logical from nondual teachers and teachings that yes it is possible to live and remain as your "Original Face" with no mask (even if others "try" put a mask on you when you act spontaneously in different ways - yet you, the real "You" remains maskless).
Which of course brings me back to "Who am I?"
February 12th - Nice Call on Masks - I plan on relistening soon and taking better notes.
February 13th - Peter posted a nice short little post about masks. I reflected and wrote about an insight I had yesterday after the call:
I had this insight yesterday after the call that masks are multidimensional and many layered. I had the visual of a great tree of masks with many branches with the leaves metaphorically being the many masks during many seasons and cycles of many lifetimes. In this life, there is the intimate masks of our persona and the myriad roles we play; and also the masks of the shadow self we try to keep to ourselves but erupt unexpectedly in times of triggering and stress. Then there are the masks related to the body and our whole aging process and how the body changes. It also seems our very bodily instincts have masks. Then there are masks of all the past bodies, personas we have inhabited in past lives and on and on.
Following the branches to the trunk and down to the roots we discover Who we are. OR Following the roots to the trunk and branches to the seeds we also see who we are. Consciousness within and consciousness without - Not 2!
I love the idea of the Pando forest in Utah which is a grove of quaking Aspen, where all the trees are connected underground with one vast root system. The whole forest is one giant organism. So where is the original trunk (Who am I?). Was there an original seed (What Am I?).
As the nondual mystical traditions show us, as we follow our masks to their Source Connectedness and not-twoness reigns Supreme. But the great sages tell us this Great Insight is beyond words and concepts, it must be "Seen". And What's more, we are already THAT - the Whole Quaking forest!
Not-2, Divine Glue
binds us as One, yet free to
be two if we choose
I had this insight yesterday after the call that masks are multidimensional and many layered. I had the visual of a great tree of masks with many branches with the leaves metaphorically being the many masks during many seasons and cycles of many lifetimes. In this life, there is the intimate masks of our persona and the myriad roles we play; and also the masks of the shadow self we try to keep to ourselves but erupt unexpectedly in times of triggering and stress. Then there are the masks related to the body and our whole aging process and how the body changes. It also seems our very bodily instincts have masks. Then there are masks of all the past bodies, personas we have inhabited in past lives and on and on.
Following the branches to the trunk and down to the roots we discover Who we are. OR Following the roots to the trunk and branches to the seeds we also see who we are. Consciousness within and consciousness without - Not 2!
I love the idea of the Pando forest in Utah which is a grove of quaking Aspen, where all the trees are connected underground with one vast root system. The whole forest is one giant organism. So where is the original trunk (Who am I?). Was there an original seed (What Am I?).
As the nondual mystical traditions show us, as we follow our masks to their Source Connectedness and not-twoness reigns Supreme. But the great sages tell us this Great Insight is beyond words and concepts, it must be "Seen". And What's more, we are already THAT - the Whole Quaking forest!
Not-2, Divine Glue
binds us as One, yet free to
be two if we choose
February 14th -
Peter posted: I used to think I could correct others and the outside world enough to be happy. Then, I looked at the clock and realized I quickly required another approach.
I replied to this post:
This is a very 'timely' post for me. Time is such a mystery, on the "one hand" it is so valuable and precious because Life (of the body) is so short relative to the grand scheme of things. Who knows when our final breathe may come? I had a friend and former business partner die suddenly last year in a car crash (or rather his physical body did) and he (his body) was still full of life and good health. Just like that! In this Lila/Maya or Samsara, time appears to be very real and precious.
On the "other hand", time is an illusion, the present moment is timeless and Eternal, not of infinite duration but beyond time altogether. This is Brahman or Nirvana.
They are like "two hands" on the Great Circle clock with no second hand such that time appears not to move yet slowly it does. Yet they are Not-2 hands also, mysteriously One and connected. As Nagarjuna the great Mahayana Buddhist sage would say: "Nothing of Samsara is different from Nirvana, nothing of Nirvana is different from Samsara".
Time is such a Mystery, perhaps this will become clear when I "See" and truly become my Original Face (which is always ever-present here and now but the many masks I wear "seem" to hide it ).
Peter's Reply: Very nicely said. It brings to mind Shakespeare's comedy, "Much Ado About Nothing". Oh how issue bound and suffering the ego!
Time Oh Precious Time
You are both real and unreal
In the Here and Now.
Peter posted: I used to think I could correct others and the outside world enough to be happy. Then, I looked at the clock and realized I quickly required another approach.
I replied to this post:
This is a very 'timely' post for me. Time is such a mystery, on the "one hand" it is so valuable and precious because Life (of the body) is so short relative to the grand scheme of things. Who knows when our final breathe may come? I had a friend and former business partner die suddenly last year in a car crash (or rather his physical body did) and he (his body) was still full of life and good health. Just like that! In this Lila/Maya or Samsara, time appears to be very real and precious.
On the "other hand", time is an illusion, the present moment is timeless and Eternal, not of infinite duration but beyond time altogether. This is Brahman or Nirvana.
They are like "two hands" on the Great Circle clock with no second hand such that time appears not to move yet slowly it does. Yet they are Not-2 hands also, mysteriously One and connected. As Nagarjuna the great Mahayana Buddhist sage would say: "Nothing of Samsara is different from Nirvana, nothing of Nirvana is different from Samsara".
Time is such a Mystery, perhaps this will become clear when I "See" and truly become my Original Face (which is always ever-present here and now but the many masks I wear "seem" to hide it ).
Peter's Reply: Very nicely said. It brings to mind Shakespeare's comedy, "Much Ado About Nothing". Oh how issue bound and suffering the ego!
Time Oh Precious Time
You are both real and unreal
In the Here and Now.
February 15th - Awareness is All that is Ever Known
Peter posted: I was reflecting on my Shakespeare quote about how the mind assigns a meaning to the 10,000 events which occur daily. In other words, "There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Of course! Thinking assigns the meaning. Without a thought, a forest fire, earthquake, flood would only be a forest fire, earthquake or flood. They are neutral of their own. But as we consider how humans and human survival is at stake, the mind rushes to judgments of good or bad. Then our conclusions trigger emotional reactions for or against. It is once again, thinking that makes it so. Now in regard to our question about masks, are they good or bad? The answer is "...thinking makes it so." A very simple understanding which requires no emotional reaction. Things simply are as they are. All events are neutral until we assign a meaning. What would the quality of our lives be if we were a bit slower to judgment and more reflective concerning our situations? Might we discover deeper, more significant answers? Ones leading to more peacefulness?
My reflections on this:
Nice reflection Peter. I was reading Ramana Maharshi this morning and I was contemplating something he said related to this: "Desireless is Wisdom". Desireless he says is refraining from turning the mind towards any objects (the 10,000 things and events that arise daily), which includes making judgements (the "thinking that makes it so") about them. What he was getting at is that everything is this Nondual awareness, which is nothing but your Immortal Self. "It's all you man!" as it is sometimes said by motivators...lol.
He finishes by saying Wisdom is not leaving the Self. The neutrality you are pointing to seems to be this recognition that everything that you see and perceive, all masks, all objects is nothing but the Self, so how can they possibly be good or bad? But that again brings us back to "Who am I?" - behind all the masks. The deepening of this enquiry is what seems to me to lead to greater peace and understanding you mention? I have to be honest with myself and realize that while from one perspective I am always There, yet from another it still 'appears' I am not..yet. Perhaps just laughing at the whole drama of the ego would be another good non-practice as well.
Peter Responded: Consider the concept that awareness is all that is ever known. It strikes me funny when I try to make sense of what the mind cannot grasp. So here we are having fun.
I replied to Peter: I love that... A nice and simple koan-like phrase to play with that inspired this little Haiku:
Haiku:
Awareness is All!
Nothing else is ever known
Di-vision is mind.
Ramakrishna had a metaphor something to the effect that when frying papadams, initially they will bubble and makes a lot of noise, but when it is done, you know because it becomes quiet. I guess I am still in the frying pan pretending not to be fully cooked...LOL.
Peter Replied: Yea, I don't know if I'm well done or burnt! Ha, ha! I like your haiku! Nice play on 'division'. And I appreciate your sharing so many insights from Eastern traditions.
I replied to Peter: Thanks for the kind words Peter. I think you are nice and golden brown, cooked pretty evenly on both sides
I got the Di-vision from Anandamayi Ma. It is a beautiful quote worth mentioning:
"Real vision is that vision where there is no such thing as the seer and the seen. It is eyeless - not to be beheld with these ordinary eyes, but with the eyes of wisdom. In that Vision without eyes, there is no room for "di-vision".
Peter Replied: Very beautifully said!
Haikus:
Neck deep in water
crying out to quench your thirst
Such is 'seeking' Truth.
Why oh buzzing mind
Do you seek specks of sweetness,
In a honey world?
Peter posted: I was reflecting on my Shakespeare quote about how the mind assigns a meaning to the 10,000 events which occur daily. In other words, "There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so." Of course! Thinking assigns the meaning. Without a thought, a forest fire, earthquake, flood would only be a forest fire, earthquake or flood. They are neutral of their own. But as we consider how humans and human survival is at stake, the mind rushes to judgments of good or bad. Then our conclusions trigger emotional reactions for or against. It is once again, thinking that makes it so. Now in regard to our question about masks, are they good or bad? The answer is "...thinking makes it so." A very simple understanding which requires no emotional reaction. Things simply are as they are. All events are neutral until we assign a meaning. What would the quality of our lives be if we were a bit slower to judgment and more reflective concerning our situations? Might we discover deeper, more significant answers? Ones leading to more peacefulness?
My reflections on this:
Nice reflection Peter. I was reading Ramana Maharshi this morning and I was contemplating something he said related to this: "Desireless is Wisdom". Desireless he says is refraining from turning the mind towards any objects (the 10,000 things and events that arise daily), which includes making judgements (the "thinking that makes it so") about them. What he was getting at is that everything is this Nondual awareness, which is nothing but your Immortal Self. "It's all you man!" as it is sometimes said by motivators...lol.
He finishes by saying Wisdom is not leaving the Self. The neutrality you are pointing to seems to be this recognition that everything that you see and perceive, all masks, all objects is nothing but the Self, so how can they possibly be good or bad? But that again brings us back to "Who am I?" - behind all the masks. The deepening of this enquiry is what seems to me to lead to greater peace and understanding you mention? I have to be honest with myself and realize that while from one perspective I am always There, yet from another it still 'appears' I am not..yet. Perhaps just laughing at the whole drama of the ego would be another good non-practice as well.
Peter Responded: Consider the concept that awareness is all that is ever known. It strikes me funny when I try to make sense of what the mind cannot grasp. So here we are having fun.
I replied to Peter: I love that... A nice and simple koan-like phrase to play with that inspired this little Haiku:
Haiku:
Awareness is All!
Nothing else is ever known
Di-vision is mind.
Ramakrishna had a metaphor something to the effect that when frying papadams, initially they will bubble and makes a lot of noise, but when it is done, you know because it becomes quiet. I guess I am still in the frying pan pretending not to be fully cooked...LOL.
Peter Replied: Yea, I don't know if I'm well done or burnt! Ha, ha! I like your haiku! Nice play on 'division'. And I appreciate your sharing so many insights from Eastern traditions.
I replied to Peter: Thanks for the kind words Peter. I think you are nice and golden brown, cooked pretty evenly on both sides
I got the Di-vision from Anandamayi Ma. It is a beautiful quote worth mentioning:
"Real vision is that vision where there is no such thing as the seer and the seen. It is eyeless - not to be beheld with these ordinary eyes, but with the eyes of wisdom. In that Vision without eyes, there is no room for "di-vision".
Peter Replied: Very beautifully said!
Haikus:
Neck deep in water
crying out to quench your thirst
Such is 'seeking' Truth.
Why oh buzzing mind
Do you seek specks of sweetness,
In a honey world?
February 16th - The Tilt-a-Whirl Mind
Peter posted: In our Full Circle poem about masks, this verse stands out for me. "Oh, how I've misplaced my identity. Often I think why should I care?" Could it be the recognition that all the roles I play, all the masks I wear are not the real 'me'? And it is now that I find myself on the "path-less path". It was for me at that time I discovered that nothing truly satisfies. That there was no level of accomplishment, not health, not love, not money, not fame, not power that could fill the gaping hole inside that kept me seeking my true identity. Then I realized that my restless mind could never offer the answer. That it only distracted me from what I always knew. It is much like remembering my name. I hear my name called and instantly I turn. No thinking is involved. I instantly know without a thought. But if I'm asked to explain why the world is as it is, thoughts tumble around making my mind dizzy as I again forget who I am. But remembering my name the path is clear. How about yourself? How do you feel about such self-inquiry? Are you deeply curious as to where the question will lead you?
I replied: Beautiful post Peter, it really moved me.
To answer the first question, I practice self inquiry daily as my go-to non-practice, and it, more than any other practice (for me), brings me into the Heart. I must admit my mind is restless still most of the time, but I love this direct approach. This morning reading this post, I contemplated the "remembering my name" and it is very helpful because so close and immediate in the Now.
Also today as reading this post, I was reflecting on a massive website I created on non-duality with pages and pages and pages of nondual notes and teachings. Hundreds of hours and dozens and dozens of book readings and videos watched went into "collecting" all this. I broke down in tears with this idea and image here in your post of my mind tumbling and spinning, and it hit home that all these words and philosophies are not IT and neither is wearing a mask of a nondual philosopher .
Yet at times I read nonduality words and it takes my breathe away. And also at times I share this and it takes the other person's breathe away, but it seems to be the exception rather than the norm. I think the difference is as you say, when my mind is spinning too much in the teachings, "I" loses sight of where the words are pointing and in those moments when the mind comes to a "stop" a tiny glimpse occurs because I am open to where the words are pointing (or the person I am talking too). Also wanting THIS so desperately though it "seems" like a necessary fire to kindle Awakening and yet, the harder you "try" the further you get. Such a paradox for the spinning "tilt-a-whirl" mind?
To answer your second questions, YES, I am deeply curious as to where the question will lead me!!!
Peter Replied: Rather than asking "Who am I?" Ask, where is awareness actually located? This is really good for your scientific inclinations.
I replied: Where indeed?
Ramana says it is located in Heart slightly on the right side, but states that is only to get people to look within to the Center of their being (Most people are right handed and point to their chest). He makes it clear it is neither the physical heart or heart chakra (anahata). Ultimately he says something to the effect it is the Heart of creation, everywhere and nowhere, circle with center everywhere and circumference nowhere.
Blah Blah Blah...Words, words words, oh how the mind loves to spin...
Peter Replied: When a person is aware of an object, say an apple on a table. Where is the awareness experience happening? Is the apple separate from awareness or included? If included, what else is included? And is there a location for this experience? This is a great exercise in non-duality. And I'm certain you know why.
I replied: Thanks Peter Ragnar for the contemplation 🙏💙. I did not have an apple, but put a tomato on my table and looked at it. I appears "out there" but still clearly in my awareness, which "seems" to be located in my head. But I can visualize an elephant standing next to it...lol.. So maybe it is not in my head... where is the boundary? It seems like a potentially infinite field of boundary-less awareness if I gaze at the stars, YET, It all very much still seems centered HERE around Me/I. Which leads back to who am I? Why is everything centered HERE around Bryant?
Intellectually, I understand from nondual teachings even this HERE is an illusion and that my mind, brain and body are also in this field of awareness. As you said yesterday, "consider that awareness is all that is ever known." It makes sense logically, but to really really SEE IT nondually is something "appears" not yet recognized with Bryant. 😅
Ramana would say, "Who is it that does not recognize?"...LOL..
I like this exercise though because it is not just reading words, it's doing a little awareness "experiment". Well at least I'll be one with the tomato later on after I eat it 🤣. I know a lot of this is still mindstuff, but I am having fun.
Peter's Response:
We can dig deeper into this as we go along. But for now, close your eyes and hold the tomato. Where are you feeling the color of the tomato?
My Experiment: I held the tomato and it's color was kinda felt in my heart.
====
Peter sent me a message via messenger:
Bryant, Why don't you keep a file of our conversations/interaction on the Full Circle. They may be of benefit to you in the future. I find there's a lot of great material you've already presented. Big hugs!
Two Ducks Now Playing
In the lake of my Seeing
Becomes my two eyes
[My tears are their pond]
Peter posted: In our Full Circle poem about masks, this verse stands out for me. "Oh, how I've misplaced my identity. Often I think why should I care?" Could it be the recognition that all the roles I play, all the masks I wear are not the real 'me'? And it is now that I find myself on the "path-less path". It was for me at that time I discovered that nothing truly satisfies. That there was no level of accomplishment, not health, not love, not money, not fame, not power that could fill the gaping hole inside that kept me seeking my true identity. Then I realized that my restless mind could never offer the answer. That it only distracted me from what I always knew. It is much like remembering my name. I hear my name called and instantly I turn. No thinking is involved. I instantly know without a thought. But if I'm asked to explain why the world is as it is, thoughts tumble around making my mind dizzy as I again forget who I am. But remembering my name the path is clear. How about yourself? How do you feel about such self-inquiry? Are you deeply curious as to where the question will lead you?
I replied: Beautiful post Peter, it really moved me.
To answer the first question, I practice self inquiry daily as my go-to non-practice, and it, more than any other practice (for me), brings me into the Heart. I must admit my mind is restless still most of the time, but I love this direct approach. This morning reading this post, I contemplated the "remembering my name" and it is very helpful because so close and immediate in the Now.
Also today as reading this post, I was reflecting on a massive website I created on non-duality with pages and pages and pages of nondual notes and teachings. Hundreds of hours and dozens and dozens of book readings and videos watched went into "collecting" all this. I broke down in tears with this idea and image here in your post of my mind tumbling and spinning, and it hit home that all these words and philosophies are not IT and neither is wearing a mask of a nondual philosopher .
Yet at times I read nonduality words and it takes my breathe away. And also at times I share this and it takes the other person's breathe away, but it seems to be the exception rather than the norm. I think the difference is as you say, when my mind is spinning too much in the teachings, "I" loses sight of where the words are pointing and in those moments when the mind comes to a "stop" a tiny glimpse occurs because I am open to where the words are pointing (or the person I am talking too). Also wanting THIS so desperately though it "seems" like a necessary fire to kindle Awakening and yet, the harder you "try" the further you get. Such a paradox for the spinning "tilt-a-whirl" mind?
To answer your second questions, YES, I am deeply curious as to where the question will lead me!!!
Peter Replied: Rather than asking "Who am I?" Ask, where is awareness actually located? This is really good for your scientific inclinations.
I replied: Where indeed?
Ramana says it is located in Heart slightly on the right side, but states that is only to get people to look within to the Center of their being (Most people are right handed and point to their chest). He makes it clear it is neither the physical heart or heart chakra (anahata). Ultimately he says something to the effect it is the Heart of creation, everywhere and nowhere, circle with center everywhere and circumference nowhere.
Blah Blah Blah...Words, words words, oh how the mind loves to spin...
Peter Replied: When a person is aware of an object, say an apple on a table. Where is the awareness experience happening? Is the apple separate from awareness or included? If included, what else is included? And is there a location for this experience? This is a great exercise in non-duality. And I'm certain you know why.
I replied: Thanks Peter Ragnar for the contemplation 🙏💙. I did not have an apple, but put a tomato on my table and looked at it. I appears "out there" but still clearly in my awareness, which "seems" to be located in my head. But I can visualize an elephant standing next to it...lol.. So maybe it is not in my head... where is the boundary? It seems like a potentially infinite field of boundary-less awareness if I gaze at the stars, YET, It all very much still seems centered HERE around Me/I. Which leads back to who am I? Why is everything centered HERE around Bryant?
Intellectually, I understand from nondual teachings even this HERE is an illusion and that my mind, brain and body are also in this field of awareness. As you said yesterday, "consider that awareness is all that is ever known." It makes sense logically, but to really really SEE IT nondually is something "appears" not yet recognized with Bryant. 😅
Ramana would say, "Who is it that does not recognize?"...LOL..
I like this exercise though because it is not just reading words, it's doing a little awareness "experiment". Well at least I'll be one with the tomato later on after I eat it 🤣. I know a lot of this is still mindstuff, but I am having fun.
Peter's Response:
We can dig deeper into this as we go along. But for now, close your eyes and hold the tomato. Where are you feeling the color of the tomato?
My Experiment: I held the tomato and it's color was kinda felt in my heart.
====
Peter sent me a message via messenger:
Bryant, Why don't you keep a file of our conversations/interaction on the Full Circle. They may be of benefit to you in the future. I find there's a lot of great material you've already presented. Big hugs!
Two Ducks Now Playing
In the lake of my Seeing
Becomes my two eyes
[My tears are their pond]
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/2023-02-17-13-21-28.png?1676658561)
Some Notes From Nondual Eric Putkonen
Enlightenment can be defined as seeing through the me, and there is nothing the me can do to see through itself. Falseness must be Seen as False!
Nonduality or Not Two really means there is no separation no "other".
It is not an experience of Oneness, we cease experiencing otherness.
If there is no thought, there is no other. Feeling of Being has no limit.
What we can do is set a conducive environment.
Things you can do do not cause enlightenment. Do for its own sake.
When the apple is ripe any breeze can knock it off the tree.
Awakening or Enlightenment is Grace/Accident (The Nondual Unborn Mind)
Don't think you are going to cause enlightenment by practice
You cannot become infinite but you can become zero and by doing so you become infinite.
Be Still - not a doing
Be Present - not a doing -
Be Silent - Not a doing
Be Aware - Not a choice
do nothing automatically present, still, silent and aware
The Four Dignities: The Spiritual Practice of Walking, Standing, Sitting and Lying Down.
Enlightenment can be defined as seeing through the me, and there is nothing the me can do to see through itself. Falseness must be Seen as False!
Nonduality or Not Two really means there is no separation no "other".
It is not an experience of Oneness, we cease experiencing otherness.
If there is no thought, there is no other. Feeling of Being has no limit.
What we can do is set a conducive environment.
Things you can do do not cause enlightenment. Do for its own sake.
When the apple is ripe any breeze can knock it off the tree.
Awakening or Enlightenment is Grace/Accident (The Nondual Unborn Mind)
Don't think you are going to cause enlightenment by practice
You cannot become infinite but you can become zero and by doing so you become infinite.
Be Still - not a doing
Be Present - not a doing -
Be Silent - Not a doing
Be Aware - Not a choice
do nothing automatically present, still, silent and aware
The Four Dignities: The Spiritual Practice of Walking, Standing, Sitting and Lying Down.
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/2023-02-17-13-55-37.png?1676660786)
I. Be Present - Cease Manipulation & Endless Distractions (ADHD of modern world)
When we are not Present we are distracted by though (past and future).
There are MANY ways we can be present though all our senses and activities!
Thought can never be about right now.
BE so Now there is no room for thought.
Don't fret about the past. Don't worry about the future. It is unknown, no one knows.
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." Mark Twain
Planning involved.. some ...necessary. trip, store, plan about something.
II. Self Inquiry.. Delve into Who Am I?
You are THAT, you have always been THAT. We never "really" see any other.
Self examination... Delve into everything you think you are.
Only if you see for yourself, you are not all these masks.
You have to see what is true and the truth is you are not that.
Religion, just a chance based on parents and cultures.
Delve deeply into everything you identify with.. Neti Neti.
Helpful in shaking up and diminishing the me.
Ramana... Follow the I-thought. Feeling I don't know. Follow the I thought to its source and abide in silence
Prior to I thought which is silence and abide in Silence. Difference between looking and seeing.
It is not that the Truth must be found, it is ignorance and falsehood that must be dispelled.
Hard to see What Is, when you think what isn't is what is.
Exercises are all
1) Cease Identification. Self Inquiry
2) & and Cease Manipulate. Present
III. Follow the Way The Great Way (Tao) is
*Love - brings people together. Compassion Kindness, Devotion/Bhakti/Kirtan/Appreciation. Sufi, looking with the eyes of the heart
*Truth - Only one truth - brings people together. Try not lie, misdirect, especially yourself ... Be brutally honest to yourself. Radical Self Honesty. You are not the body. As long as you lie to yourself, you will not look.
*Harmony - Brings people together - like orchestra. Nonviolence, not fighting, not struggling, ceasing conflict. Let go of restlessness. Stilling. Flows like water. Live more in a collaborate or cooperative. Yield, act cooperatively.. Never go force against force. Go with the force and redirect.
*Unity - Quit trying to divide.. Cease trying divide, compartmentalize, do not limit yourself.
When we are not Present we are distracted by though (past and future).
There are MANY ways we can be present though all our senses and activities!
Thought can never be about right now.
BE so Now there is no room for thought.
Don't fret about the past. Don't worry about the future. It is unknown, no one knows.
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." Mark Twain
Planning involved.. some ...necessary. trip, store, plan about something.
II. Self Inquiry.. Delve into Who Am I?
You are THAT, you have always been THAT. We never "really" see any other.
Self examination... Delve into everything you think you are.
Only if you see for yourself, you are not all these masks.
You have to see what is true and the truth is you are not that.
Religion, just a chance based on parents and cultures.
Delve deeply into everything you identify with.. Neti Neti.
Helpful in shaking up and diminishing the me.
Ramana... Follow the I-thought. Feeling I don't know. Follow the I thought to its source and abide in silence
Prior to I thought which is silence and abide in Silence. Difference between looking and seeing.
It is not that the Truth must be found, it is ignorance and falsehood that must be dispelled.
Hard to see What Is, when you think what isn't is what is.
Exercises are all
1) Cease Identification. Self Inquiry
2) & and Cease Manipulate. Present
III. Follow the Way The Great Way (Tao) is
*Love - brings people together. Compassion Kindness, Devotion/Bhakti/Kirtan/Appreciation. Sufi, looking with the eyes of the heart
*Truth - Only one truth - brings people together. Try not lie, misdirect, especially yourself ... Be brutally honest to yourself. Radical Self Honesty. You are not the body. As long as you lie to yourself, you will not look.
*Harmony - Brings people together - like orchestra. Nonviolence, not fighting, not struggling, ceasing conflict. Let go of restlessness. Stilling. Flows like water. Live more in a collaborate or cooperative. Yield, act cooperatively.. Never go force against force. Go with the force and redirect.
*Unity - Quit trying to divide.. Cease trying divide, compartmentalize, do not limit yourself.
February 17th - Silly Questions to Trick The Mind
Thought of the day: "When the me shatters, there is no where to go, only Now Here (no elsewhere).
Shattering the illusion of otherness. No center, no division.
Someone on the Full Circle Group asked me about Self Inquiry and I gave her Ramana's directions.
Peter chimed in and said: It is a witnessing presence watching mind asking itself silly questions it can't answer. Finally it collapses in laughter as the joke is seen.
To this I joking replied: Great comment, that one hit home a little. But why do I feel like everyone is laughing and I still don't get the joke? Maybe if I hang out with people already laughing like yourself, it won't matter if I get it or not, I'll just start laughing for no reason.
To this Peter answered: Struggling with a koan or self inquiry is a little like standing in a doorway and straining to lift your arm to a horizontal position. Then simply taking one small step forward, one is amazed as the arm raises by itself. It is the way an answer which cannot be conceptualized suddenly appears. Mind is nothing but struggle, so we find clever ways to trick it into surrender. The answer is so freakingly obvious that it is hidden. Its why no one can tell another the answer, because it has never been a question. Awareness is always just aware of itself. Thus it is the joke consciousness plays with itself.
I can recall laughing with a school mate in class so hard I couldn't speak. The teacher was asking "What's so funny?" And we can't even recall the joke, it's that funny! This too, once you begin to giggle, believe me, it's all over. Yea, the imaginary others will be pissed, as you laugh even harder
To This I answered: I love that! Laughing so hard you can't recall what the joke was . I wish I was told all this at the beginning of my spiritual quest, but maybe the joke wouldn't have been as funny.
Koans
The great Cosmic Joke
Is we think we are this "me"
- God wakes up and Laughs
Silly questions asked
which mind can never answer
til laughter breaks it!
There is no answer
to the mystery of Life
the True Self Just IS!
with No-wHere to go
once the ego is no more
the Self is Now-Here
Thought of the day: "When the me shatters, there is no where to go, only Now Here (no elsewhere).
Shattering the illusion of otherness. No center, no division.
Someone on the Full Circle Group asked me about Self Inquiry and I gave her Ramana's directions.
Peter chimed in and said: It is a witnessing presence watching mind asking itself silly questions it can't answer. Finally it collapses in laughter as the joke is seen.
To this I joking replied: Great comment, that one hit home a little. But why do I feel like everyone is laughing and I still don't get the joke? Maybe if I hang out with people already laughing like yourself, it won't matter if I get it or not, I'll just start laughing for no reason.
To this Peter answered: Struggling with a koan or self inquiry is a little like standing in a doorway and straining to lift your arm to a horizontal position. Then simply taking one small step forward, one is amazed as the arm raises by itself. It is the way an answer which cannot be conceptualized suddenly appears. Mind is nothing but struggle, so we find clever ways to trick it into surrender. The answer is so freakingly obvious that it is hidden. Its why no one can tell another the answer, because it has never been a question. Awareness is always just aware of itself. Thus it is the joke consciousness plays with itself.
I can recall laughing with a school mate in class so hard I couldn't speak. The teacher was asking "What's so funny?" And we can't even recall the joke, it's that funny! This too, once you begin to giggle, believe me, it's all over. Yea, the imaginary others will be pissed, as you laugh even harder
To This I answered: I love that! Laughing so hard you can't recall what the joke was . I wish I was told all this at the beginning of my spiritual quest, but maybe the joke wouldn't have been as funny.
Koans
The great Cosmic Joke
Is we think we are this "me"
- God wakes up and Laughs
Silly questions asked
which mind can never answer
til laughter breaks it!
There is no answer
to the mystery of Life
the True Self Just IS!
with No-wHere to go
once the ego is no more
the Self is Now-Here
February 18th -
Peter Posted Today: In the Zen circle I see the pattern of my days and life. Are they like the breeze flowing free, my minutes, days and months? Or do my words and thoughts catch on branches and thorns causing me to awkwardly stumble and fall? Is my life as smooth as the artist's stroke? Is each day like a masterful 'Enso' flowing like ink on paper without hesitation, wavering or worry? Each evening have I come full circle home to a restful repose? These are the questions I ask myself in evening reflections. Since beginning this course, do you now have deeper or different impressions of the Zen circle? I'd love to hear about them. Please share your impressions below.
My Reflection on the Circle: The circle seems to summarize my Ego/Mind and its constant spinning, desiring, grasping and seeking and searching even if that seeking or searching is nondual teachings and self inquiry.
Moments of intense desire, intense avoiding, getting upset, trying to be right, etc. the circle becomes dark and heavy which means my boundary between self and other is stronger.
In moments of love, epiphanies, breathless glimpses, deep contemplation, peace, etc, the circle grows faint and the boundary between self and other is diminished. Yet the circle remains even then.
Based on the post from Thursday about the spinning mind, it dawned on me reading this, that all the nondual teachings I have been pouring through the past couple years, and all the self inquiry I have done, while this all does very much keep the circle spinning, it "seems" to be a more subtle and transparent circle because the thoughts and ideas themselves are more subtle and transparent? Of course being stuck on this spinning circle of nondual teachings and inquiry will still keep a boundary, the "I" is still there. But I will say, there is something profound and moving about reading all these words from great nondual teachers (Peter included) that helps break down the circle altogether (for moments at least).
It seems that this lightening of the circle makes it perhaps easier to see the paper (Awareness) upon which it is drawn. Awareness being the open and "empty fullness" of All that is, which is both the paper and the ink, but in some way the ink is made of "paper-stuff", or awareness.
The goalless goal from my understanding a month and a half into this course is to shift identification from the circling ink - thoughts, speech, actions, habits, etc that make up the Ego (no matter how smooth or subtle) TO the paper or pure HERE-NOW awareness which is the True Self ever shining (in a nondual or not-2 way). In doing so, the circle can continue to flow and spin, but we "SEE" they are Not-2, nondual and it's all Awareness. While this is still a koan or inquiry 'process' for me and more and more I am realizing there is nothing I can do to make this happen (because you are already THAT as the nondual sages would say). But there is a part of me where all this does make sense, it is just a matter of Seeing the Seer that is here typing these words and looking at this screen. Who am I? Who or what is now typing these words and experiencing this moment?
It would 'seem' from this Awakening or Realization, the Enzo would start flowing more smoothly and effortlessly almost by ItSelf? How could it not if you truly See the Not-2 of all things including yourself?
Peter Replied: Nice introspection on this. This, not that. But that is also this! The paper allows for the image. The image doesn't exist without the paper, but the paper and image ultimately are the same.
In our analogy, the background is changeless and ever-present. What changes are objects that are appearing real. But they are constantly changing. What is it that knows a passing/changing form? As with a mirror, it remains the same, while the images before it change. Yet, the images are also one with the mirror. Like a dream at night seems real as it reflects on our screen of consciousness. But when we awaken we know it wasn't real.
I responded: I really like the dream contemplation, as it seems so clear (after the fact), that our consciousness is both the dream body we identify with along with all the "other" dream bodies, objects, scenes, etc in the dream.
But according to the nondual sages, the paper can also exist and remain aware without the ink even though the ink/dream is made of "paper-stuff"? Like in deep dreamless sleep but in some way more Aware? You recalled your experience where you realized you were awareness looking at Peter the body that was frozen and motionless, but still fully aware of being awareness without the body. What a mystery that is!
Such awareness 'seems' to missing from most of us in deep dreamless sleep otherwise could we not watch our body sleeping in deep dreamless sleep while still remaining aware as awareness?
I know words words words, but it is so fun contemplating all THIS.
Peter Replied: Ultimately, in "dreamless" sleep there's no content for remembering. Because the dream is made of the same stuff as both body and mind are made of. I suppose its why you and I both enjoy the analogies as ways of pointing to what cannot be said. "Form is emptiness and emptiness is form." Much like clear light.
Further Reflection by me: It seems right now I am identified with my mind and secondarily my body.
Peter Posted Today: In the Zen circle I see the pattern of my days and life. Are they like the breeze flowing free, my minutes, days and months? Or do my words and thoughts catch on branches and thorns causing me to awkwardly stumble and fall? Is my life as smooth as the artist's stroke? Is each day like a masterful 'Enso' flowing like ink on paper without hesitation, wavering or worry? Each evening have I come full circle home to a restful repose? These are the questions I ask myself in evening reflections. Since beginning this course, do you now have deeper or different impressions of the Zen circle? I'd love to hear about them. Please share your impressions below.
My Reflection on the Circle: The circle seems to summarize my Ego/Mind and its constant spinning, desiring, grasping and seeking and searching even if that seeking or searching is nondual teachings and self inquiry.
Moments of intense desire, intense avoiding, getting upset, trying to be right, etc. the circle becomes dark and heavy which means my boundary between self and other is stronger.
In moments of love, epiphanies, breathless glimpses, deep contemplation, peace, etc, the circle grows faint and the boundary between self and other is diminished. Yet the circle remains even then.
Based on the post from Thursday about the spinning mind, it dawned on me reading this, that all the nondual teachings I have been pouring through the past couple years, and all the self inquiry I have done, while this all does very much keep the circle spinning, it "seems" to be a more subtle and transparent circle because the thoughts and ideas themselves are more subtle and transparent? Of course being stuck on this spinning circle of nondual teachings and inquiry will still keep a boundary, the "I" is still there. But I will say, there is something profound and moving about reading all these words from great nondual teachers (Peter included) that helps break down the circle altogether (for moments at least).
It seems that this lightening of the circle makes it perhaps easier to see the paper (Awareness) upon which it is drawn. Awareness being the open and "empty fullness" of All that is, which is both the paper and the ink, but in some way the ink is made of "paper-stuff", or awareness.
The goalless goal from my understanding a month and a half into this course is to shift identification from the circling ink - thoughts, speech, actions, habits, etc that make up the Ego (no matter how smooth or subtle) TO the paper or pure HERE-NOW awareness which is the True Self ever shining (in a nondual or not-2 way). In doing so, the circle can continue to flow and spin, but we "SEE" they are Not-2, nondual and it's all Awareness. While this is still a koan or inquiry 'process' for me and more and more I am realizing there is nothing I can do to make this happen (because you are already THAT as the nondual sages would say). But there is a part of me where all this does make sense, it is just a matter of Seeing the Seer that is here typing these words and looking at this screen. Who am I? Who or what is now typing these words and experiencing this moment?
It would 'seem' from this Awakening or Realization, the Enzo would start flowing more smoothly and effortlessly almost by ItSelf? How could it not if you truly See the Not-2 of all things including yourself?
Peter Replied: Nice introspection on this. This, not that. But that is also this! The paper allows for the image. The image doesn't exist without the paper, but the paper and image ultimately are the same.
In our analogy, the background is changeless and ever-present. What changes are objects that are appearing real. But they are constantly changing. What is it that knows a passing/changing form? As with a mirror, it remains the same, while the images before it change. Yet, the images are also one with the mirror. Like a dream at night seems real as it reflects on our screen of consciousness. But when we awaken we know it wasn't real.
I responded: I really like the dream contemplation, as it seems so clear (after the fact), that our consciousness is both the dream body we identify with along with all the "other" dream bodies, objects, scenes, etc in the dream.
But according to the nondual sages, the paper can also exist and remain aware without the ink even though the ink/dream is made of "paper-stuff"? Like in deep dreamless sleep but in some way more Aware? You recalled your experience where you realized you were awareness looking at Peter the body that was frozen and motionless, but still fully aware of being awareness without the body. What a mystery that is!
Such awareness 'seems' to missing from most of us in deep dreamless sleep otherwise could we not watch our body sleeping in deep dreamless sleep while still remaining aware as awareness?
I know words words words, but it is so fun contemplating all THIS.
Peter Replied: Ultimately, in "dreamless" sleep there's no content for remembering. Because the dream is made of the same stuff as both body and mind are made of. I suppose its why you and I both enjoy the analogies as ways of pointing to what cannot be said. "Form is emptiness and emptiness is form." Much like clear light.
Further Reflection by me: It seems right now I am identified with my mind and secondarily my body.
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/2023-08-09-01-39-03.png?1691559815)
February 18th -
Peter’s Reflection February 2023
Feels Like Something Is Missing
It has been said, we don't even begin this quest of self-identity until we become conscious of something missing inside. Often the question, "Who am I?" only occurs after some type of loss or tragedy. For others it can occur after great success has been achieved. And sometimes it happens after meeting a life goal and realizing that wasn't "it" either. Question arises. What is it I seek? Where is it? How is it possible to find what can't even be identified? I find myself searching for something, even though I don't know what. But I search none-the-less. I want what I want, but I don't know why I want it. Why do beavers build dams? Why do birds fly south? Why do salmon exhaust themselves swimming upstream? Sometimes I feel as if I too am fighting to get up a waterfall. Am I a fish, feverishly attempting to mate just to die exhausted? What is this majestic hidden power, this energy that drives me - compels me - to seek, to quest, to experience? This power, I now suspect, is disguised under many masks, using many names and living in many places. So... how can I find my own true self?
I replied: Much Appreciation for the this post Peter! This brought up some big questions related to practice, Awakening and death. Doing Self inquiry along with this course something deep inside says I am heading in the right direction even if I don't know what THIS is..yet. I am getting clearer on what it is not, anything of the mind, yet even that too is IT?
I feel a burning passion to find this ultimate Truth because I desire that which is ultimately True and Eternal, which does not come and go, and is Unborn and never dies; but maybe in the passion (or the majestic seeking energy you refer to) itself the mystery lies?
I was reading Ramana this morning someone asking him about death: Basically he answered something to the effect of focusing on the Present and the future will take care of itself. Part of the illusion he says is we think we were born and therefore must die. But reflecting on my birth, I have no recollection, it is like I just appeared? Similarly in dreams things just appear, they don't grow up and develop. Then I wake up and all the dream characters evaporate yet "I" am still here but in a different body. I will say for me when someone you know suddenly dies and contemplating death itself is a powerful motivator, but perhaps it shouldn't be?
How to wake from this Cosmic Dream of Physicality? Who am I? Who or what is now typing these words with some heart felt emotion right here and now? You said the other day the Witnessing Presence watches the mind ask questions it cannot answer which really hit home, yet I feel compelled to keep asking? How to just Be THAT Witnessing Presence? It seems so fricking simple in "theory", which I guess is part of the Big Cosmic Joke.
Peter then commented: What knows the passing form, the dream, or dreamless sleep is what is real. Whether a dream lasts eight hours or eighty years awakening occurs by itself. When I was five years into this present dream I would often sleep-walk down the hallway at night. I just couldn't get to sleep fully even in my 'waking' state. For a child, this was very confusing since I knew I was dreaming it. I knew as many children know that the world isn't real as we know it. But soon I settled into the dream of this life in which we are all interacting. However, knowing this life as a lucid dream, I now get to watch it from a detached perspective, knowing myself as the screen. When our beliefs are dismantled, reality remains. Only beliefs ask questions until they run out of answers and all that remains is all that has ever been.
1. What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Bryant the body, but usually I seem to consciously or unconsciously identify with it.
2. Is something really missing or are we just not recognizing it?
At times I feeling like I am missing out on having a family, more friends in person, etc.
Ultimately nothing is missing, but habits, desires and cravings seem to
3. When do you feel most like yourself? Loving, doing Japa and singing. Also in telling jokes and doing comedy.
4. Are there some people in your life who help you feel more authentic?
People I can joke around with and bring out the inner comedian in me OR people that bring out my inner devotion
5. Did you ever pretend you were someone else? If so, who was it
I pretend to be Buster
I was DFE in flat earth
Mr PEMF
Rich Bryant
Sick Bryant
Angry Bryant
One of Ma's virgin girls (at times felt like I was channeling female devotees of Ma).
Duey with Ashely
Beaker in Frat
Mr or Professor Meyers as a teacher
Peter’s Reflection February 2023
Feels Like Something Is Missing
It has been said, we don't even begin this quest of self-identity until we become conscious of something missing inside. Often the question, "Who am I?" only occurs after some type of loss or tragedy. For others it can occur after great success has been achieved. And sometimes it happens after meeting a life goal and realizing that wasn't "it" either. Question arises. What is it I seek? Where is it? How is it possible to find what can't even be identified? I find myself searching for something, even though I don't know what. But I search none-the-less. I want what I want, but I don't know why I want it. Why do beavers build dams? Why do birds fly south? Why do salmon exhaust themselves swimming upstream? Sometimes I feel as if I too am fighting to get up a waterfall. Am I a fish, feverishly attempting to mate just to die exhausted? What is this majestic hidden power, this energy that drives me - compels me - to seek, to quest, to experience? This power, I now suspect, is disguised under many masks, using many names and living in many places. So... how can I find my own true self?
I replied: Much Appreciation for the this post Peter! This brought up some big questions related to practice, Awakening and death. Doing Self inquiry along with this course something deep inside says I am heading in the right direction even if I don't know what THIS is..yet. I am getting clearer on what it is not, anything of the mind, yet even that too is IT?
I feel a burning passion to find this ultimate Truth because I desire that which is ultimately True and Eternal, which does not come and go, and is Unborn and never dies; but maybe in the passion (or the majestic seeking energy you refer to) itself the mystery lies?
I was reading Ramana this morning someone asking him about death: Basically he answered something to the effect of focusing on the Present and the future will take care of itself. Part of the illusion he says is we think we were born and therefore must die. But reflecting on my birth, I have no recollection, it is like I just appeared? Similarly in dreams things just appear, they don't grow up and develop. Then I wake up and all the dream characters evaporate yet "I" am still here but in a different body. I will say for me when someone you know suddenly dies and contemplating death itself is a powerful motivator, but perhaps it shouldn't be?
How to wake from this Cosmic Dream of Physicality? Who am I? Who or what is now typing these words with some heart felt emotion right here and now? You said the other day the Witnessing Presence watches the mind ask questions it cannot answer which really hit home, yet I feel compelled to keep asking? How to just Be THAT Witnessing Presence? It seems so fricking simple in "theory", which I guess is part of the Big Cosmic Joke.
Peter then commented: What knows the passing form, the dream, or dreamless sleep is what is real. Whether a dream lasts eight hours or eighty years awakening occurs by itself. When I was five years into this present dream I would often sleep-walk down the hallway at night. I just couldn't get to sleep fully even in my 'waking' state. For a child, this was very confusing since I knew I was dreaming it. I knew as many children know that the world isn't real as we know it. But soon I settled into the dream of this life in which we are all interacting. However, knowing this life as a lucid dream, I now get to watch it from a detached perspective, knowing myself as the screen. When our beliefs are dismantled, reality remains. Only beliefs ask questions until they run out of answers and all that remains is all that has ever been.
1. What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Bryant the body, but usually I seem to consciously or unconsciously identify with it.
2. Is something really missing or are we just not recognizing it?
At times I feeling like I am missing out on having a family, more friends in person, etc.
Ultimately nothing is missing, but habits, desires and cravings seem to
3. When do you feel most like yourself? Loving, doing Japa and singing. Also in telling jokes and doing comedy.
4. Are there some people in your life who help you feel more authentic?
People I can joke around with and bring out the inner comedian in me OR people that bring out my inner devotion
5. Did you ever pretend you were someone else? If so, who was it
I pretend to be Buster
I was DFE in flat earth
Mr PEMF
Rich Bryant
Sick Bryant
Angry Bryant
One of Ma's virgin girls (at times felt like I was channeling female devotees of Ma).
Duey with Ashely
Beaker in Frat
Mr or Professor Meyers as a teacher
February 20th -
Question #1 on this month's reflection. "What do you see when you look in the mirror?
My Response:
I see a handsome fellow looking back . But really this is a "good" reflection as we place so much of our identity with how we look so we can be liked, loved and accepted by others. It is perhaps one of the deepest masks we wear, though not the deepest because there is a sense of "I" behind all the bodies we have been over perhaps many lifetimes and in the various bodies in our dreams too. Interestingly, it does seem we "dress up" wearing various masks and costumes to play various roles and always look in the mirror before heading out. Dressing up for a date, wearing your work uniform, putting on your workout clothes, dressing grungies to do yard work, wearing sweat pants to relax, dressing for a wedding or funeral, beach attire, and on and on, so many looks for so many different activities. And then of course there is looking at yourself naked, stripped of all clothing which for many can lead to all sorts of judgements. Of course included in the costume is hair, teeth, makeup, grooming, etc. I like the reflection I see, but is that vanity .
But who am I really? Who is looking out these eyes I see reflected back regardless of what costume I am wearing?
I remember Peter you gave an exercise of staring at yourself in the mirror and if I remember correctly you can go deep and start to see your face shift perhaps into the many characters we have played in countless lives? At the end of it there is nothing but a formless blazing light, or something to that effect. I remember doing it and seeing my face change forms, but never saw the light like you described (this was a long time ago so I may not be remembering correctly). Not sure if my mind was playing tricks on me but it was an interesting "experience".
Peter Responded:
I'll go into detail on that this Sunday. Both from the medical context and from the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, if you'd like. Do you recall the last chapter of Herman Hesse's book "Siddhartha"?
To This I replied:
I had to look it up but something to the effect of:
Siddhartha tells Govinda to kiss him on the forehead. Govinda kisses his friend's forehead and suddenly sees a continuous, unending stream of faces and people and images of painful and joyous things all shifting into one another. Then it would seem to me from there all faces melt into the Ocean of Nondual Awareness seen as a Blaze of formless/form Nondual "Light".
To me this points to the Oneness of all faces not only ours in this life and past lives, but all faces in the Great Cosmic Dream, we no longer see another face as "other". Just words I know but very poetic.
Kinda reminiscent of the exercise I remember. It would be fun to hear both the medical and Vijnana Bhairava Tantra perspective on this exercise (time permitting)? Maybe we can create our own little fun house too with different kinds of warped mirrors for fun .
Peter Responded to This:
Interestingly, all faces are our own.
Haikus
Unborn Buddha Mind
Light of ten thousand mirrors
Seeing all as One
Awareness mirror
in no need of polishing
for where can dust fall?
Question #1 on this month's reflection. "What do you see when you look in the mirror?
My Response:
I see a handsome fellow looking back . But really this is a "good" reflection as we place so much of our identity with how we look so we can be liked, loved and accepted by others. It is perhaps one of the deepest masks we wear, though not the deepest because there is a sense of "I" behind all the bodies we have been over perhaps many lifetimes and in the various bodies in our dreams too. Interestingly, it does seem we "dress up" wearing various masks and costumes to play various roles and always look in the mirror before heading out. Dressing up for a date, wearing your work uniform, putting on your workout clothes, dressing grungies to do yard work, wearing sweat pants to relax, dressing for a wedding or funeral, beach attire, and on and on, so many looks for so many different activities. And then of course there is looking at yourself naked, stripped of all clothing which for many can lead to all sorts of judgements. Of course included in the costume is hair, teeth, makeup, grooming, etc. I like the reflection I see, but is that vanity .
But who am I really? Who is looking out these eyes I see reflected back regardless of what costume I am wearing?
I remember Peter you gave an exercise of staring at yourself in the mirror and if I remember correctly you can go deep and start to see your face shift perhaps into the many characters we have played in countless lives? At the end of it there is nothing but a formless blazing light, or something to that effect. I remember doing it and seeing my face change forms, but never saw the light like you described (this was a long time ago so I may not be remembering correctly). Not sure if my mind was playing tricks on me but it was an interesting "experience".
Peter Responded:
I'll go into detail on that this Sunday. Both from the medical context and from the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, if you'd like. Do you recall the last chapter of Herman Hesse's book "Siddhartha"?
To This I replied:
I had to look it up but something to the effect of:
Siddhartha tells Govinda to kiss him on the forehead. Govinda kisses his friend's forehead and suddenly sees a continuous, unending stream of faces and people and images of painful and joyous things all shifting into one another. Then it would seem to me from there all faces melt into the Ocean of Nondual Awareness seen as a Blaze of formless/form Nondual "Light".
To me this points to the Oneness of all faces not only ours in this life and past lives, but all faces in the Great Cosmic Dream, we no longer see another face as "other". Just words I know but very poetic.
Kinda reminiscent of the exercise I remember. It would be fun to hear both the medical and Vijnana Bhairava Tantra perspective on this exercise (time permitting)? Maybe we can create our own little fun house too with different kinds of warped mirrors for fun .
Peter Responded to This:
Interestingly, all faces are our own.
Haikus
Unborn Buddha Mind
Light of ten thousand mirrors
Seeing all as One
Awareness mirror
in no need of polishing
for where can dust fall?
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/332703677-592808596206565-4167761831156293766-n.jpg?1677045332)
I felt inspired to shared this beautiful short sermon related to our current talks about the mirror.
The Mirror - from the Book Bankei Zen by Peter Haskel
"Since this Buddha Mind is unborn and marvelously illuminating, it's a thousand, ten thousand times brighter than a mirror, and there's nothing it doesn't recognize and distinguish. With a mirror, no sooner do the forms of things pass before it, than their reflected images appear. Because, from the start, the mirror is without conscious intention, it hasn't any thought of rejecting or not rejecting the forms of things that come before it, no thought to remove or not to remove those images it reflects. This is the function of the shining mirror. We can't help comparing the marvelously illuminating function of the Buddha Mind to a mirror, so I'm simply making the comparison. But the mirror doesn't even come close—the Buddha Mind is a thousand times, ten thousand times more wonderful!
"With the dynamic function of the marvelously illuminating Buddha Mind, every object that comes before your eyes is individually recognized and distinguished without your doing a thing. So, even though you're not trying to do so, you recognize thousands of different impressions by sight or by sound. All these are things with form, but even those without form—the things in people's hearts that can't be seen are precisely reflected. Even with the different sorts of faces you encounter, their good or evil thoughts are reflected by the marvelously illuminating Buddha Mind.
"Take the people assembled here, intent on listening to my talk: If someone happens to cough, you're not making a deliberate effort to listen; but as soon as there's coughing—even though you're not trying either to hear it or not to hear it—you can distinguish it well enough to say whether that cough just now came from a man or a woman, an old person or a young one. Or take the case of someone whom you last saw twenty years before: You haven't seen him since, and then, by chance, you meet on the street and, prompted by this encounter, the events of twenty years before at once spring clearly to mind. How different this is from the function of the mirror!"
Peter Replied to this:
This brings to mind the poetry contest as to who would be 6th in the Zen lineage. Hui-neng's poem, "Fundamentally no wisdom-tree exists,
Nor the stand of a mirror bright.
Since all is empty from the beginning,
Where can the dust alight".
I replied:
[Part 1] I love it , I remember reading that, and I especially like this translation you shared here. His challenger said something to the effect of the need to constantly wipe the mind-mirror from "concept-dust", but it had an inherent duality that Hui-Neng's poem pointed out so beautifully winning him the contest to become the next Patriarch (so the legend tells). I was reading Bankei's poem with a nondual mirror in mind where images and mirror are not two. But I see in general the mirror analogy can drift towards duality if one is not careful.
[Part 2] I did a little digging in the history of the poem of Hui-neng, and evidentially it was a part of a major reform from the 5th Patriarch which held a dualistic view of mind as mirror reflecting the external world to Hui-neng the 6th Patriarch that embraced nonduality. In fact Hui-neng even renamed the teachings from K'an (old) to Chien (new). The profound difference was not only hinted at in the mirror poems, but the idea of an eye and a hand (in k'an) watching an object independently as a spectator; the seen and the seeing as two separate entities. Where in the chien of Hui-neng, was composed of an eye alone on two outstretched legs; signifying the pure act of "seeing". This "seeing" was not reflecting an object, but brings the seer and seen together in a nondual way.
Peter, if I remember correctly you once said something to the effect of "become like a big eyeball" or something along those lines which resonates with Hui-neng nondual "seeing" or the nondual Witnessing Presence.
To this Peter Replied: Yes, I've said that a few times. Nice you have such wonderful recall. If we consider Hui-neng's poem and his mirror as if the mirror is a computer screen, What appears on the screen never leaves the screen even as it disappears. Not two! Mind is also swallowed by consciousness, because all there ever is in knowing knowing itself.
The Mirror - from the Book Bankei Zen by Peter Haskel
"Since this Buddha Mind is unborn and marvelously illuminating, it's a thousand, ten thousand times brighter than a mirror, and there's nothing it doesn't recognize and distinguish. With a mirror, no sooner do the forms of things pass before it, than their reflected images appear. Because, from the start, the mirror is without conscious intention, it hasn't any thought of rejecting or not rejecting the forms of things that come before it, no thought to remove or not to remove those images it reflects. This is the function of the shining mirror. We can't help comparing the marvelously illuminating function of the Buddha Mind to a mirror, so I'm simply making the comparison. But the mirror doesn't even come close—the Buddha Mind is a thousand times, ten thousand times more wonderful!
"With the dynamic function of the marvelously illuminating Buddha Mind, every object that comes before your eyes is individually recognized and distinguished without your doing a thing. So, even though you're not trying to do so, you recognize thousands of different impressions by sight or by sound. All these are things with form, but even those without form—the things in people's hearts that can't be seen are precisely reflected. Even with the different sorts of faces you encounter, their good or evil thoughts are reflected by the marvelously illuminating Buddha Mind.
"Take the people assembled here, intent on listening to my talk: If someone happens to cough, you're not making a deliberate effort to listen; but as soon as there's coughing—even though you're not trying either to hear it or not to hear it—you can distinguish it well enough to say whether that cough just now came from a man or a woman, an old person or a young one. Or take the case of someone whom you last saw twenty years before: You haven't seen him since, and then, by chance, you meet on the street and, prompted by this encounter, the events of twenty years before at once spring clearly to mind. How different this is from the function of the mirror!"
Peter Replied to this:
This brings to mind the poetry contest as to who would be 6th in the Zen lineage. Hui-neng's poem, "Fundamentally no wisdom-tree exists,
Nor the stand of a mirror bright.
Since all is empty from the beginning,
Where can the dust alight".
I replied:
[Part 1] I love it , I remember reading that, and I especially like this translation you shared here. His challenger said something to the effect of the need to constantly wipe the mind-mirror from "concept-dust", but it had an inherent duality that Hui-Neng's poem pointed out so beautifully winning him the contest to become the next Patriarch (so the legend tells). I was reading Bankei's poem with a nondual mirror in mind where images and mirror are not two. But I see in general the mirror analogy can drift towards duality if one is not careful.
[Part 2] I did a little digging in the history of the poem of Hui-neng, and evidentially it was a part of a major reform from the 5th Patriarch which held a dualistic view of mind as mirror reflecting the external world to Hui-neng the 6th Patriarch that embraced nonduality. In fact Hui-neng even renamed the teachings from K'an (old) to Chien (new). The profound difference was not only hinted at in the mirror poems, but the idea of an eye and a hand (in k'an) watching an object independently as a spectator; the seen and the seeing as two separate entities. Where in the chien of Hui-neng, was composed of an eye alone on two outstretched legs; signifying the pure act of "seeing". This "seeing" was not reflecting an object, but brings the seer and seen together in a nondual way.
Peter, if I remember correctly you once said something to the effect of "become like a big eyeball" or something along those lines which resonates with Hui-neng nondual "seeing" or the nondual Witnessing Presence.
To this Peter Replied: Yes, I've said that a few times. Nice you have such wonderful recall. If we consider Hui-neng's poem and his mirror as if the mirror is a computer screen, What appears on the screen never leaves the screen even as it disappears. Not two! Mind is also swallowed by consciousness, because all there ever is in knowing knowing itself.
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/332857486-615257957092763-6493177046916364099-n_orig.jpg)
To This I replied: The part where you say, "What appears on the screen never leaves the screen even as it disappears" is a puzzling koan for me. Is that like all that ever is or will be is here now, yet it also isn't (not-2). This being contrasted to things coming and going while consciousness remains (even if the things are made of consciousness). The ice sculptures of many forms eventually melt back into the ocean, having been water all along, but the form is now gone. Or does somehow somehow the form remain in the liquid water even after disappearing (like how water seems to have memory to store information while still appearing formless)?
This is a little mental, but what you say seems reminiscent to me of the idea of a block universe as the basis for Einstein's general relativity. The block universe is four-dimensional spacetime which represents all the places and all the times that ever have existed and will exist together as a single unchanging entity. There is no essential difference between the past and the future, because there is no present time defined to separate them. Without an objective present, however, time cannot be said to flow in any real sense: the passage of time must be an illusion. The universe just is and contains the whole of spacetime? Loop quantum gravity also points to this idea of a universe with no time, where nothing is happening. Yet time 'seems' real and things appear to happen. What a mystery!
To This Peter Replied:
EXACTLY! Like Hui-neng's poem reflecting "Form is emptiness and emptiness, form." (There is "no stand for the mirror".) The mind as such is limited by the dimension of its functioning.
This is a little mental, but what you say seems reminiscent to me of the idea of a block universe as the basis for Einstein's general relativity. The block universe is four-dimensional spacetime which represents all the places and all the times that ever have existed and will exist together as a single unchanging entity. There is no essential difference between the past and the future, because there is no present time defined to separate them. Without an objective present, however, time cannot be said to flow in any real sense: the passage of time must be an illusion. The universe just is and contains the whole of spacetime? Loop quantum gravity also points to this idea of a universe with no time, where nothing is happening. Yet time 'seems' real and things appear to happen. What a mystery!
To This Peter Replied:
EXACTLY! Like Hui-neng's poem reflecting "Form is emptiness and emptiness, form." (There is "no stand for the mirror".) The mind as such is limited by the dimension of its functioning.
February 21st -
Question 2: Again, re-read the reflection and then answer question #2) Is there really something missing or are we just not recognizing it?
My Answer:
I know from the great nondual teachings that nothing is missing, nothing needs to be sought and found, gained or attained. However, if I am honest with myself, I still have this "seeking" drive for nondual Self 'Realization'. I find myself also seeking better health, a female partner and things like writing a book, seeking money and new business opportunities to name a few.
Is it possible that our True nondual nature, everything becomes more effortless. That is, things start to happen almost by themselves (wei wu way, nondual action, etc.). I have read about it, but it is not a living experience. It seems I have to seek and use effort to attain things I want.
But I would say with some self honesty what I feel is missing most (and what I want most) is this nondual experience of the Self which ironically is always and already present according to the great sages? How to attain that which cannot be attained? How to become what you already are? The only answer seems like removing what I am not, but even that is tainted with duality?
Peter, I think you said first There becomes Here, and then Here collapses and the Self shines forth? Perhaps Neti Neti takes us from There to Here, and then by some happy accident the Self shines forth .
So answer the two questions I would say:
1) No, nothing is missing (the Self is always already Here - Now).
2) Yes, for some reason, I 'appear' to not be recognizing IT.
Peter Replied:
This is so perfect. Thank you! We just returned from the gym. Set after set of jaw crushing intensity followed by more sets and exercises driving my body into having an insane pump! Was I still missing sculpting my body to standards I set for it? Certainly, except for one notable difference, "I" don't do anything except watch the show. So it depends on which level we're speaking. Ultimately nothing is missing, yet I playfully live my life as if something is missing. Of course the test is when everything goes to hell, am I still flowing effortlessly or will I think something is missing? Am I free from all entanglements? Let's see! Roll um!
Question 2: Again, re-read the reflection and then answer question #2) Is there really something missing or are we just not recognizing it?
My Answer:
I know from the great nondual teachings that nothing is missing, nothing needs to be sought and found, gained or attained. However, if I am honest with myself, I still have this "seeking" drive for nondual Self 'Realization'. I find myself also seeking better health, a female partner and things like writing a book, seeking money and new business opportunities to name a few.
Is it possible that our True nondual nature, everything becomes more effortless. That is, things start to happen almost by themselves (wei wu way, nondual action, etc.). I have read about it, but it is not a living experience. It seems I have to seek and use effort to attain things I want.
But I would say with some self honesty what I feel is missing most (and what I want most) is this nondual experience of the Self which ironically is always and already present according to the great sages? How to attain that which cannot be attained? How to become what you already are? The only answer seems like removing what I am not, but even that is tainted with duality?
Peter, I think you said first There becomes Here, and then Here collapses and the Self shines forth? Perhaps Neti Neti takes us from There to Here, and then by some happy accident the Self shines forth .
So answer the two questions I would say:
1) No, nothing is missing (the Self is always already Here - Now).
2) Yes, for some reason, I 'appear' to not be recognizing IT.
Peter Replied:
This is so perfect. Thank you! We just returned from the gym. Set after set of jaw crushing intensity followed by more sets and exercises driving my body into having an insane pump! Was I still missing sculpting my body to standards I set for it? Certainly, except for one notable difference, "I" don't do anything except watch the show. So it depends on which level we're speaking. Ultimately nothing is missing, yet I playfully live my life as if something is missing. Of course the test is when everything goes to hell, am I still flowing effortlessly or will I think something is missing? Am I free from all entanglements? Let's see! Roll um!
![Picture](/uploads/4/5/1/6/4516117/published/331883558-568419275320438-7211101099254586418-n.jpg?1677386423)
February 24th
Found out my biological father is alive. Also found out I have two half sisters.
Found out my biological father is alive. Also found out I have two half sisters.
February 25th
Great Call With Peter on "The Mirror"
108 Ways to Trick Yourself into seeing yourself!
I myself as a window, a frame.
We see awareness being aware of itself. Stand before the mirror and the mirror is blank.
Do you see with eyes or awareness? Naming and labeling creates things "out there" and tricks us into seeing 2!
Look back to awareness as our only experience.
It is so obvious it is missed, but held as a sacred secret. Pure seeing, THAT which experiences, pure awareness.
Only ONE things satisfies - Coming back to yourself, Meeting the Love of your Heart.
The more freedom I give, the more freedom I have.
I feel most like myself , when I toss the exhausting script of all the characters I have memorized aside, then I breathe a breath of fresh air of relief. I feel most like myself, when I am no self at all! Being a nobody going nowhere!
Thoughts stop, mind gets out of way and Pure Being shines!
When even the stink of Enlightenment has washed off.
We are just here looking into our own eyes, seeing that which never changes, never grows old, never dies, and never goes away!
Walk the Pathless Path
That Leads to the Gateless Gate
Your True Self Awaits!
Putting an "I wish"
On Top of Really What is
Never ends in peace!
Great Call With Peter on "The Mirror"
108 Ways to Trick Yourself into seeing yourself!
I myself as a window, a frame.
We see awareness being aware of itself. Stand before the mirror and the mirror is blank.
Do you see with eyes or awareness? Naming and labeling creates things "out there" and tricks us into seeing 2!
Look back to awareness as our only experience.
It is so obvious it is missed, but held as a sacred secret. Pure seeing, THAT which experiences, pure awareness.
Only ONE things satisfies - Coming back to yourself, Meeting the Love of your Heart.
The more freedom I give, the more freedom I have.
I feel most like myself , when I toss the exhausting script of all the characters I have memorized aside, then I breathe a breath of fresh air of relief. I feel most like myself, when I am no self at all! Being a nobody going nowhere!
Thoughts stop, mind gets out of way and Pure Being shines!
When even the stink of Enlightenment has washed off.
We are just here looking into our own eyes, seeing that which never changes, never grows old, never dies, and never goes away!
Walk the Pathless Path
That Leads to the Gateless Gate
Your True Self Awaits!
Putting an "I wish"
On Top of Really What is
Never ends in peace!
February 27th
Peter Posted: We kicked off our adventure on the great circle with lots of self-inquiry. Did you discover there's a subtle, hidden energy being sought beneath the questions and replies? Our goals and desires are fueled by this energy. But what actually is this driving force and where can it be found? What is the root of all desires, be they inwardly or outwardly sought? Why does a person feel a subconscious anxiety that something is missing and must be sought? It's the unspeakable joy of discovery that will leave us speechless. This is the glorious trek leading us back to a place we have never left
I replied: Perhaps this seeking and desiring energy is part of the game, how the unlimited and boundless nondual Self, experiences the bounded challenges of limited duality. I always had this sense that the deeper and more dense that spirit descends, the stronger, and more joyful and at peace it can arise. That is a dualistic idea, but it always made sense.
But coming full circle when the game grows tiring (at least in the mire of duality) it seems this one last desire to Know Thyself, the Desire of all desires remains at the threshold. For how could one enter the pathless Path and walk through the Gateless gate without any desire at all? Or maybe that is precisely what is needed, but it seems like some kind of "wakeup call" fuels one last burst of seeking energy to proceed upon the journeyless journey?
I like how you say these various Self Inquiry and Koan "techniques" are simply ways to trick yourself into seeing your Self! But even that requires some form of Desire or energy, like one final thorn used to remove the Final Thorn of separateness or duality? But all the nondual sages are in agreement that ultimately there is nothing you can do to become what you already are. There is no journey or path that can lead you to a destination you are already at. I feel like I am in some weird bardo stage where I am desiring Self realization, while understanding (at least intellectually) that that desire itself is an obstacle. I suppose such is the mystery (and fun) of this game.
To This Peter Responded:
It is all so simple when we grasp that the mind turns awareness into desire. Recognizing the root of all desire is awakening.
Peter Posted: We kicked off our adventure on the great circle with lots of self-inquiry. Did you discover there's a subtle, hidden energy being sought beneath the questions and replies? Our goals and desires are fueled by this energy. But what actually is this driving force and where can it be found? What is the root of all desires, be they inwardly or outwardly sought? Why does a person feel a subconscious anxiety that something is missing and must be sought? It's the unspeakable joy of discovery that will leave us speechless. This is the glorious trek leading us back to a place we have never left
I replied: Perhaps this seeking and desiring energy is part of the game, how the unlimited and boundless nondual Self, experiences the bounded challenges of limited duality. I always had this sense that the deeper and more dense that spirit descends, the stronger, and more joyful and at peace it can arise. That is a dualistic idea, but it always made sense.
But coming full circle when the game grows tiring (at least in the mire of duality) it seems this one last desire to Know Thyself, the Desire of all desires remains at the threshold. For how could one enter the pathless Path and walk through the Gateless gate without any desire at all? Or maybe that is precisely what is needed, but it seems like some kind of "wakeup call" fuels one last burst of seeking energy to proceed upon the journeyless journey?
I like how you say these various Self Inquiry and Koan "techniques" are simply ways to trick yourself into seeing your Self! But even that requires some form of Desire or energy, like one final thorn used to remove the Final Thorn of separateness or duality? But all the nondual sages are in agreement that ultimately there is nothing you can do to become what you already are. There is no journey or path that can lead you to a destination you are already at. I feel like I am in some weird bardo stage where I am desiring Self realization, while understanding (at least intellectually) that that desire itself is an obstacle. I suppose such is the mystery (and fun) of this game.
To This Peter Responded:
It is all so simple when we grasp that the mind turns awareness into desire. Recognizing the root of all desire is awakening.
February 28th
Peter Posted: When being and non-being are the same, It's much like the space which allows a room to be a room.
I replied: Non-being is a tough one to swallow. If everything is Awareness how can there be non-being? Stated another way would it be ok to say there is ONLY Being with a capital "B" pointing to nondual Being. Non-being sounds to me like non-existence, though I get that it is a word embedded in our dualistic language structure and truth itself is far beyond the mind.
To this Peter Responded: "Words, the Way is beyond language for in it there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today." (Sosan). The mind is terrified by the thought of "non-being". Because it must foster an illusion that it can attach an ego to. The mind sees being as substance of some nature or the other. It must therefore be a 'thing'. Thus it fears becoming a no-thing. Our puny mental concepts demand identity where none can be found. In the meantime we struggle with words to point at what can not be identified. Where could this 'being' be located? Like another wispy image on the screen of consciousness or a passing reflection before the mirror. Yet all are absorbed by the screen upon which they appear. When we blow out a candle where is the flame? It is both being and non-being. Ah! Nirvana! Sosan states "There is neither self or other than self..." again, "words, the way is beyond language..."
As I was shoveling snow, it occurred to me that non-being and being are like a lid on a box with nothing in it. The greatest fear to self-realization is that of finding nothing. Ha, haa! I love it! being nobody going nowhere!
No self is self!
To This I Responded: Thanks for sharing that Peter, great words to ponder going beyond words into nothingness or no-thing-ness. I think I am hung up on how the sages say we are Sat-Chit-Ananda , Being-Consciousness-Bliss as our true Eternal Nature. But I see how the mind can turn this into a "thing" and because we identify still with the ego/mind, we think this applies to "us" as separate little selves.
What lies beyond the ego, mind or separate self? It should be exciting, but it seems the ego does not like the thought of its own absence or non-existence ? I guess that is like the salt doll diving head first into the ocean. E-go, E-going, E-gone!.
The idea of being a nobody going nowhere sounds utterly liberating and free!!
Peter Replied:
Yes, consciousness knowing itself without any false images to misdirect. The entire misdirection is making awakening a mental concept such as bliss etc... What is left to observe consciousness being blissful or loving or happy? However, as we peel back the layers of self, we see everything as self as self dissolves. The man of salt enters the ocean causing panic while observers dial 911 and lifeguards splash around trying to find 'self'.
Peter Posted: When being and non-being are the same, It's much like the space which allows a room to be a room.
I replied: Non-being is a tough one to swallow. If everything is Awareness how can there be non-being? Stated another way would it be ok to say there is ONLY Being with a capital "B" pointing to nondual Being. Non-being sounds to me like non-existence, though I get that it is a word embedded in our dualistic language structure and truth itself is far beyond the mind.
To this Peter Responded: "Words, the Way is beyond language for in it there is no yesterday, no tomorrow, no today." (Sosan). The mind is terrified by the thought of "non-being". Because it must foster an illusion that it can attach an ego to. The mind sees being as substance of some nature or the other. It must therefore be a 'thing'. Thus it fears becoming a no-thing. Our puny mental concepts demand identity where none can be found. In the meantime we struggle with words to point at what can not be identified. Where could this 'being' be located? Like another wispy image on the screen of consciousness or a passing reflection before the mirror. Yet all are absorbed by the screen upon which they appear. When we blow out a candle where is the flame? It is both being and non-being. Ah! Nirvana! Sosan states "There is neither self or other than self..." again, "words, the way is beyond language..."
As I was shoveling snow, it occurred to me that non-being and being are like a lid on a box with nothing in it. The greatest fear to self-realization is that of finding nothing. Ha, haa! I love it! being nobody going nowhere!
No self is self!
To This I Responded: Thanks for sharing that Peter, great words to ponder going beyond words into nothingness or no-thing-ness. I think I am hung up on how the sages say we are Sat-Chit-Ananda , Being-Consciousness-Bliss as our true Eternal Nature. But I see how the mind can turn this into a "thing" and because we identify still with the ego/mind, we think this applies to "us" as separate little selves.
What lies beyond the ego, mind or separate self? It should be exciting, but it seems the ego does not like the thought of its own absence or non-existence ? I guess that is like the salt doll diving head first into the ocean. E-go, E-going, E-gone!.
The idea of being a nobody going nowhere sounds utterly liberating and free!!
Peter Replied:
Yes, consciousness knowing itself without any false images to misdirect. The entire misdirection is making awakening a mental concept such as bliss etc... What is left to observe consciousness being blissful or loving or happy? However, as we peel back the layers of self, we see everything as self as self dissolves. The man of salt enters the ocean causing panic while observers dial 911 and lifeguards splash around trying to find 'self'.