NON-DUALITY
Poem and Reflection for October
Look At Nothing
What effort was required
Before I was a spark in my parents' eyes
Now I have retired
Any thought that I
Think something can be acquired
Of which I need to try
In such thoughts I'll not be mired
For now there is no "I"
Look At Nothing
What effort was required
Before I was a spark in my parents' eyes
Now I have retired
Any thought that I
Think something can be acquired
Of which I need to try
In such thoughts I'll not be mired
For now there is no "I"
My Takeaway from the 1st Call:
It was a such great call, my whole day shifted to being more meditative of "This". I felt a nice little heart glow all afternoon. In fact I was even pondering who is it that feels this nice feeling in my heart...lol.
What struck me most was when you said "You are not a Presence that occurs in the Now. You are the Now! That has to be one of your best quotes yet. For me it is helping to understand "Just This" from a different angle. The phrase "Be Here Now" is like a command to a some kind of Witnessing Presence to be in the moment. But there is subtle dualism there. Just Being the Now is realizing that all there is is THIS! No subject to be in the Now, just the Now Awareness that is all inclusive. Nothing to be, just Being!
This idealess idea also applies to just "being present" or being here(/now). There is a subtle dualism there too. You are the Presence, you are the Here! Nothing to be present, nothing to be Here(/now). Thou art That always and already!
Peter Responded: Indeed! Being "Now" defeats all teachings and relieves the separate self of its illusionary presence. ps/ "Being the now." Is not originally from me. However, just hearing this creates a shift.
Another Takeaway: "Not knowing is the most precious treasure"
Peter Replied: Exactly! There's no such thing as "peace of mind". The very nature of mind is constant movement, questing and concerns. But that which observes, experiences, and is aware of mind stuff is always at peace, always content, always at ease. And of course when thought content is not energized by constant attention, its power subsides and once again we slip into our natural peaceful state of being. The mind can be likened to a deer grazing in a field. It suddenly sees a hunter and goes on alert. The hunter not seeing the deer, passes by. Now the deer is back to browsing in the field as if the hunter never even existed in the first place. So too with the spiritualized mind.
I mildly objected: I still tend to want to know things. If someone brings something up I don't know, my curiosity always gets the better of me and I find out...lol. I guess if all there is is This, knowing or not knowing ultimately really doesn't matter, right?
Peter Replied: I was actually thinking of you this morning reading Dogenzenji's words, "But these will be mere fancy words of no concern to you when the time comes that you jump across and let go."
It was a such great call, my whole day shifted to being more meditative of "This". I felt a nice little heart glow all afternoon. In fact I was even pondering who is it that feels this nice feeling in my heart...lol.
What struck me most was when you said "You are not a Presence that occurs in the Now. You are the Now! That has to be one of your best quotes yet. For me it is helping to understand "Just This" from a different angle. The phrase "Be Here Now" is like a command to a some kind of Witnessing Presence to be in the moment. But there is subtle dualism there. Just Being the Now is realizing that all there is is THIS! No subject to be in the Now, just the Now Awareness that is all inclusive. Nothing to be, just Being!
This idealess idea also applies to just "being present" or being here(/now). There is a subtle dualism there too. You are the Presence, you are the Here! Nothing to be present, nothing to be Here(/now). Thou art That always and already!
Peter Responded: Indeed! Being "Now" defeats all teachings and relieves the separate self of its illusionary presence. ps/ "Being the now." Is not originally from me. However, just hearing this creates a shift.
Another Takeaway: "Not knowing is the most precious treasure"
Peter Replied: Exactly! There's no such thing as "peace of mind". The very nature of mind is constant movement, questing and concerns. But that which observes, experiences, and is aware of mind stuff is always at peace, always content, always at ease. And of course when thought content is not energized by constant attention, its power subsides and once again we slip into our natural peaceful state of being. The mind can be likened to a deer grazing in a field. It suddenly sees a hunter and goes on alert. The hunter not seeing the deer, passes by. Now the deer is back to browsing in the field as if the hunter never even existed in the first place. So too with the spiritualized mind.
I mildly objected: I still tend to want to know things. If someone brings something up I don't know, my curiosity always gets the better of me and I find out...lol. I guess if all there is is This, knowing or not knowing ultimately really doesn't matter, right?
Peter Replied: I was actually thinking of you this morning reading Dogenzenji's words, "But these will be mere fancy words of no concern to you when the time comes that you jump across and let go."
Other Notes from the 1st Call of October
There is a deep contentment in Not Knowing and not caring what comes next. No questions remain. There is nothing to seek, nothing to gain. Everything is as it is supposed to be.
Fog Obscures the Way
There is nothing I can do
I walk on and on.
When the game is over, all the pieces go back in the box.
But you never change!
Play your role well and you realize you are not just a character on the screen of awareness, you are the screen!
We identify with one particular character and see through its eyes. As soon as you see through all characters eyes, the game changes.
The minute you no longer need to see, you see (let go).
Repent - Means to "turn around". Turn around and see the screen the movie plays upon.
There is a deep contentment in Not Knowing and not caring what comes next. No questions remain. There is nothing to seek, nothing to gain. Everything is as it is supposed to be.
Fog Obscures the Way
There is nothing I can do
I walk on and on.
When the game is over, all the pieces go back in the box.
But you never change!
Play your role well and you realize you are not just a character on the screen of awareness, you are the screen!
We identify with one particular character and see through its eyes. As soon as you see through all characters eyes, the game changes.
The minute you no longer need to see, you see (let go).
Repent - Means to "turn around". Turn around and see the screen the movie plays upon.
Peter’s Reflection October
Look At Nothing
The great death has been died and there has been a passage through the empty circle. That which has been -- the eternal spark of presence that has endured existence, change, suffering and release from suffering -- has made the passage back to origin. It recognizes itself as the "I" before "I am." The circle is complete. No longer deluded, there simply remains the comings and goings of all things. "Definitions have vanished and no boundaries are seen. So too with being and non-being," says the sage into the wind. Yet... only one thing remains.
Look At Nothing
The great death has been died and there has been a passage through the empty circle. That which has been -- the eternal spark of presence that has endured existence, change, suffering and release from suffering -- has made the passage back to origin. It recognizes itself as the "I" before "I am." The circle is complete. No longer deluded, there simply remains the comings and goings of all things. "Definitions have vanished and no boundaries are seen. So too with being and non-being," says the sage into the wind. Yet... only one thing remains.
Question #2)
Can you visualize yourself as the "I" before the "I Am"? What does that look like to you?
I responded after a deep meditation:
Wow, such a well timed question for me!
I was deeply contemplating Who Am I this morning. Ramana recommends investigating the "I-thought" and holding onto to it. He says it is the primary thought behind all thoughts, the linchpin that holds the whole egoic stack of cards together. Without it, the whole house of cards comes a tumbling down...haha.
I got to a point this morning where I was feeling this Bryant-thought, and there was a subtle illumination making it more obvious then normal. It was quite an extraordinary little glimpse. It did not really look like anything, more a feeling of "I" but there was a faint echo of Bryant the body there and what it feels like to be Bryant. What is before that? Ramana says the Self, pure Awareness which I now understand cannot be described with words or understood with the mind.
But I sensed this morning this subtle feeling of that light was perhaps a little glimmer of the Self? ... though it could have been my mind playing tricks on me again.
But I got to several places where my mind just stopped for a bit and there was a nice peace, deeper then my usual meditations. It did not last long but it was very nice!
I Added: I always loved this quote from the Chandogya Upanishad.
"There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the radiant light that shines in the heart of man."
If I had to visualize (That which cannot be visualized), I would probably chose an image of some Great Central Sun, the Self being the Sun behind all suns and yet resides in our timeless and spaceless Heart of Hearts! This image by Alex Grey is very nice.
Peter Replied: Very nice contemplation. How many accounts relate someone just hearing a few words come to a sudden awakening. It's in that sudden realization that our brains create an optical impression of a world we've taken for reality, that we fully glimpse beyond it. And its never intellectual, never a mental concept, just a sudden clarity of THIS. Nothing has ever been missing and seeing that can never be undone.
I responded: Thanks for sharing Peter. I have heard many such stories as you say. Sometimes it is even just a look from someone in Presence like Ramana. I am so grateful for this course and you Peter for several nice little glimpses at various moments and posts. Your Magic Presence has really helped to illuminate these sublime nondual teachings (for me). I haven't had the full glimpse..yet... but as you said before something to the effect, the little drops wear away the stone until at some moment of moments, it breaks and the floodgates open..lol. My hope is that all of us in this Full Circle end up finishing this course swimming in the sea of Bliss of the Self!! So Be It!!
Peter Replied: Much like recovering from amnesia. Once you remember, you are always amazed that you had forgotten. Your true identity had never gone away. But, just like waking up, we get hints that we've been falling back into the dream. Then suddenly we jump out of bed or maybe just enjoy laying there a bit longer knowing we're awake.
Can you visualize yourself as the "I" before the "I Am"? What does that look like to you?
I responded after a deep meditation:
Wow, such a well timed question for me!
I was deeply contemplating Who Am I this morning. Ramana recommends investigating the "I-thought" and holding onto to it. He says it is the primary thought behind all thoughts, the linchpin that holds the whole egoic stack of cards together. Without it, the whole house of cards comes a tumbling down...haha.
I got to a point this morning where I was feeling this Bryant-thought, and there was a subtle illumination making it more obvious then normal. It was quite an extraordinary little glimpse. It did not really look like anything, more a feeling of "I" but there was a faint echo of Bryant the body there and what it feels like to be Bryant. What is before that? Ramana says the Self, pure Awareness which I now understand cannot be described with words or understood with the mind.
But I sensed this morning this subtle feeling of that light was perhaps a little glimmer of the Self? ... though it could have been my mind playing tricks on me again.
But I got to several places where my mind just stopped for a bit and there was a nice peace, deeper then my usual meditations. It did not last long but it was very nice!
I Added: I always loved this quote from the Chandogya Upanishad.
"There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond us all, beyond the heavens, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the radiant light that shines in the heart of man."
If I had to visualize (That which cannot be visualized), I would probably chose an image of some Great Central Sun, the Self being the Sun behind all suns and yet resides in our timeless and spaceless Heart of Hearts! This image by Alex Grey is very nice.
Peter Replied: Very nice contemplation. How many accounts relate someone just hearing a few words come to a sudden awakening. It's in that sudden realization that our brains create an optical impression of a world we've taken for reality, that we fully glimpse beyond it. And its never intellectual, never a mental concept, just a sudden clarity of THIS. Nothing has ever been missing and seeing that can never be undone.
I responded: Thanks for sharing Peter. I have heard many such stories as you say. Sometimes it is even just a look from someone in Presence like Ramana. I am so grateful for this course and you Peter for several nice little glimpses at various moments and posts. Your Magic Presence has really helped to illuminate these sublime nondual teachings (for me). I haven't had the full glimpse..yet... but as you said before something to the effect, the little drops wear away the stone until at some moment of moments, it breaks and the floodgates open..lol. My hope is that all of us in this Full Circle end up finishing this course swimming in the sea of Bliss of the Self!! So Be It!!
Peter Replied: Much like recovering from amnesia. Once you remember, you are always amazed that you had forgotten. Your true identity had never gone away. But, just like waking up, we get hints that we've been falling back into the dream. Then suddenly we jump out of bed or maybe just enjoy laying there a bit longer knowing we're awake.
Notes from Second Call October:
I am a reflection of all I choose to see.
The screen of awareness is nothing but love, because it knows itself as love. We use the word love to describe what cannot be put into words. It is THIS, Ah This!!
I thoughts disappear into a conscious, dimensionless self aware screen experiencing itself.
"Empty-handed I entered the world Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going- Two simple happenings That got entangled."
This "I" cannot be visualized. Show me your face before your parents were born. It is a way of turning the mind back against it self. The moment that happens the answer is obvious, it is stunning and transforming.
Time is minds creation. Mind is creating constant desire which then requires a future for its fulfillment.
With mind out of the way, no intellectual answer is possible.
Ask mind to provide an answer , which of course it cannot.
I am what? Am I a Material body with a brain that houses a mind?
Body brain and mind are objects present to my screen of awareness.
I am is the awareness in the recognition of that.
In my mistaken identity, I clearly grasped where all of my challenges and problems arose from.
I am is not a description, it is a statement of experience.
I am is a verb not a noun?
Contemplaet how the I is always the observer of experience, never observed.
This I my thoughts disappears into to. Conscious,
I am a reflection of all I choose to see.
The screen of awareness is nothing but love, because it knows itself as love. We use the word love to describe what cannot be put into words. It is THIS, Ah This!!
I thoughts disappear into a conscious, dimensionless self aware screen experiencing itself.
"Empty-handed I entered the world Barefoot I leave it. My coming, my going- Two simple happenings That got entangled."
This "I" cannot be visualized. Show me your face before your parents were born. It is a way of turning the mind back against it self. The moment that happens the answer is obvious, it is stunning and transforming.
Time is minds creation. Mind is creating constant desire which then requires a future for its fulfillment.
With mind out of the way, no intellectual answer is possible.
Ask mind to provide an answer , which of course it cannot.
I am what? Am I a Material body with a brain that houses a mind?
Body brain and mind are objects present to my screen of awareness.
I am is the awareness in the recognition of that.
In my mistaken identity, I clearly grasped where all of my challenges and problems arose from.
I am is not a description, it is a statement of experience.
I am is a verb not a noun?
Contemplaet how the I is always the observer of experience, never observed.
This I my thoughts disappears into to. Conscious,
November Poem
Peter’s Poem & November 2023
Enter The World Again (Homecoming)
You look like me when I was young
Can you walk with all you carry?
I sigh now that I am done
And perhaps you find that scary
Old teachings must all be flung
To live life free and airy
There is no self to which I've clung
There's nothing that makes me wary
I find no need to hold my tongue
But what I say may vary
Because you're me and we are one
As we climb aboard the ferry
Peter Added:
It is said that the teaching is like a raft you take to the other shore. However, it is to be left there, not carried upon one's back. When we've caught the trick or teaching on how to drop the separate self, we've stepped out of the dream onto the shore of reality. The teaching dies with a separate self.
Peter’s Poem & November 2023
Enter The World Again (Homecoming)
You look like me when I was young
Can you walk with all you carry?
I sigh now that I am done
And perhaps you find that scary
Old teachings must all be flung
To live life free and airy
There is no self to which I've clung
There's nothing that makes me wary
I find no need to hold my tongue
But what I say may vary
Because you're me and we are one
As we climb aboard the ferry
Peter Added:
It is said that the teaching is like a raft you take to the other shore. However, it is to be left there, not carried upon one's back. When we've caught the trick or teaching on how to drop the separate self, we've stepped out of the dream onto the shore of reality. The teaching dies with a separate self.
Question #1)
Are you content and at peace? If not, what would help you feel that way?
My Answer: Yes for the most part. I think for me having more savings would help because I have seen taking two years off that I can be totally happy and peaceful even by myself. I will say that I do desire a partner that shares common values, but I don't think I need that to be content and at peace, but it seems to me that it would enrich my life more.
Peter Replied: Some of my most memorable times were when I had little in a material/financial way, but I owned my time. Often I would only work enough to be able to take years off just to work on myself. Money came easily when I didn't need it, but when I thought I required it or chased it, it simply ran from me. I learned when I didn't want anything, I could easily have anything I wanted. I learned that most of the prosperity teachers had it all backward. The law of nature is chase it and it will run. Sit and it will all come. It doesn't matter whether, bears, birds or bank accounts! I've found that if I treat debt like a disease, then I find it easy to get healthy. These are my rules for playing this board game in the illusion I've projected. So far, so good! To win any game a person must be playful first and not sweat the small stuff that happens.
Peter Part 2: I've found I've always been the most successful with anything when I'm most relaxed. It is much easier to make the right decisions when it is only game play, than if you feel your life depends upon the outcome. Too many success teachers are just too serious and stressed out (and I've been contacted by some very famous ones.)
Life is Just a Game, Relax!
Are you content and at peace? If not, what would help you feel that way?
My Answer: Yes for the most part. I think for me having more savings would help because I have seen taking two years off that I can be totally happy and peaceful even by myself. I will say that I do desire a partner that shares common values, but I don't think I need that to be content and at peace, but it seems to me that it would enrich my life more.
Peter Replied: Some of my most memorable times were when I had little in a material/financial way, but I owned my time. Often I would only work enough to be able to take years off just to work on myself. Money came easily when I didn't need it, but when I thought I required it or chased it, it simply ran from me. I learned when I didn't want anything, I could easily have anything I wanted. I learned that most of the prosperity teachers had it all backward. The law of nature is chase it and it will run. Sit and it will all come. It doesn't matter whether, bears, birds or bank accounts! I've found that if I treat debt like a disease, then I find it easy to get healthy. These are my rules for playing this board game in the illusion I've projected. So far, so good! To win any game a person must be playful first and not sweat the small stuff that happens.
Peter Part 2: I've found I've always been the most successful with anything when I'm most relaxed. It is much easier to make the right decisions when it is only game play, than if you feel your life depends upon the outcome. Too many success teachers are just too serious and stressed out (and I've been contacted by some very famous ones.)
Life is Just a Game, Relax!
November 1st Call
Teaching is like a raft or boat you take from one shore to the other. But when you arrive, you do not take the raft with you.
Teaching gets us to a certain point, a different perspective.
We have dropped so much of the stuff we have been carrying.
The likes and dislikes, shoulds and shouldnts , desires come from this tremendous magnificent energy. We don't squander this tremendous energy anymore. We are free of all that garbage. That is the freedom. We gentle that energy. That is going from the one shore to the other. Teaching helps us to jettison all this. In the letting go that the enlightenment appears.
Words of little buckets of consciousness.
Questions about everyday illusionary life.
Screen that reflects our experience. Movie is an illusion. Flickering of lights, colors, sounds, yet it too is part and parcel of the screen, not 2.
Awareness being aware of itself like an infinitely blue sky and we are clouds that float in that sky. It is part of the sky. Not 2. Ordinary life is the enlightened life.
Go around full circle from what is ordinary to what is ordinary, but it has totally changed.
Q1: Are you content and at peace. What would help you feel that peace.
There is nothing in this world that I see that I want. (reflects part of me that is free of wanting - nature of the world is wanting).Deep satisfaction of a life well lived. Lucky and blessed. Contentment and peace is fruitage from deep appreciation.
Life's ups and downs, appreciation of contrast. Helps to see what does not change. Witness to all on the screen. Nothing has actually taken place. Mind and thoughts simply appears to witnessing awareness. And this awareness is source of all peace and contentment.
Mind is simply the self coloring of awareness. If you know your true nature, there is a great peace and contentment.
The Mountains are mountains, I am just visitor here, seeing it all but not apart.
Q2: What is one thing that would make your day better.
Don't demand life to be a certain way, just Wait and allow the Universe to serve me in a timely way.
Drop my concepts and ideas and allow life to unfold as it does.
Being patient vs taking action right now.
Action and nonaction, is one layer.
Act without acting and wait without waiting.
Things are totally accepted as they are. Whatever you are doing, you see yourself as doing it. If you see yourself doing it, you are not there, the doing is just
Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water and after enlightenment chop wood and carry water.
Come from the point of a witnessing awareness. We are spectators in this glorious movie.
What we truly are never worries about a thing!
Action is not your action, actions are just actions. Events are only events.
Big bag of desires have been released and let go.
Elicit surrender only when we realize that We are the now.
That glimpse of recognition is a surrender.
Immediately pulled out of movie
It is This. It is the sudden Cry of Ah This!
Wife becomes someones perfect mirror.
Become more aware of my how words affect others.
Great relationships forged by lots of laughter.
No one is good except the One. Good must be viewed in a relative light.
Good in contrast to what? Good according to what measurement of Value?
Standard for only myself.
Not everyone is good, but everyone can be good at something.
Excellent in some skill or activity. Personal Excellence
Good morally, kind, honest, etc. Moral Excellent.
Personal achievement needs to be matched with humility and kindness.
I actually the person other wish to see. Be genuine and good.
No need to embellish. Genuine, honest and open.
Considerate and well mannered. Personal ettiquette with others.
Be Polite. Control personal feelings and act civilized.
Speech civilized, and dignified.
Do not Lie.
Do goodness in a mob, cannot follow teachings that divide.
I cannot and will not march with the crowd.
Big bag of beliefs must be set down.
Teaching is like a raft or boat you take from one shore to the other. But when you arrive, you do not take the raft with you.
Teaching gets us to a certain point, a different perspective.
We have dropped so much of the stuff we have been carrying.
The likes and dislikes, shoulds and shouldnts , desires come from this tremendous magnificent energy. We don't squander this tremendous energy anymore. We are free of all that garbage. That is the freedom. We gentle that energy. That is going from the one shore to the other. Teaching helps us to jettison all this. In the letting go that the enlightenment appears.
Words of little buckets of consciousness.
Questions about everyday illusionary life.
Screen that reflects our experience. Movie is an illusion. Flickering of lights, colors, sounds, yet it too is part and parcel of the screen, not 2.
Awareness being aware of itself like an infinitely blue sky and we are clouds that float in that sky. It is part of the sky. Not 2. Ordinary life is the enlightened life.
Go around full circle from what is ordinary to what is ordinary, but it has totally changed.
Q1: Are you content and at peace. What would help you feel that peace.
There is nothing in this world that I see that I want. (reflects part of me that is free of wanting - nature of the world is wanting).Deep satisfaction of a life well lived. Lucky and blessed. Contentment and peace is fruitage from deep appreciation.
Life's ups and downs, appreciation of contrast. Helps to see what does not change. Witness to all on the screen. Nothing has actually taken place. Mind and thoughts simply appears to witnessing awareness. And this awareness is source of all peace and contentment.
Mind is simply the self coloring of awareness. If you know your true nature, there is a great peace and contentment.
The Mountains are mountains, I am just visitor here, seeing it all but not apart.
Q2: What is one thing that would make your day better.
Don't demand life to be a certain way, just Wait and allow the Universe to serve me in a timely way.
Drop my concepts and ideas and allow life to unfold as it does.
Being patient vs taking action right now.
Action and nonaction, is one layer.
Act without acting and wait without waiting.
Things are totally accepted as they are. Whatever you are doing, you see yourself as doing it. If you see yourself doing it, you are not there, the doing is just
Before enlightenment chop wood and carry water and after enlightenment chop wood and carry water.
Come from the point of a witnessing awareness. We are spectators in this glorious movie.
What we truly are never worries about a thing!
Action is not your action, actions are just actions. Events are only events.
Big bag of desires have been released and let go.
Elicit surrender only when we realize that We are the now.
That glimpse of recognition is a surrender.
Immediately pulled out of movie
It is This. It is the sudden Cry of Ah This!
Wife becomes someones perfect mirror.
Become more aware of my how words affect others.
Great relationships forged by lots of laughter.
No one is good except the One. Good must be viewed in a relative light.
Good in contrast to what? Good according to what measurement of Value?
Standard for only myself.
Not everyone is good, but everyone can be good at something.
Excellent in some skill or activity. Personal Excellence
Good morally, kind, honest, etc. Moral Excellent.
Personal achievement needs to be matched with humility and kindness.
I actually the person other wish to see. Be genuine and good.
No need to embellish. Genuine, honest and open.
Considerate and well mannered. Personal ettiquette with others.
Be Polite. Control personal feelings and act civilized.
Speech civilized, and dignified.
Do not Lie.
Do goodness in a mob, cannot follow teachings that divide.
I cannot and will not march with the crowd.
Big bag of beliefs must be set down.
**Takeaway from the First Call**
Dear Friends, What did you receive from our live call with Tristan yesterday? What did you like the best?
I replied: When you said to paraphrase a bit: Don't demand life to be a certain way, just wait and allow the Universe to serve you in a timely way. Drop concepts and ideas and allow life to unfold as it does. What we truly are never worries about a thing!
I am at a point when I am back to manifesting abundance and I just need to trust the Universe will serve me in a timely way and not worry about money. If I reflect back on the past 5 months, I have manifested abundance fairly effortlessly, yet I still worry...LOL. Which is why this was music to my soul hearing you say the above.
ALSO, I loved when you said:
"It is This! It is the sudden Cry of Ah This!"
(while that doesn't sound like anything special, to me it was one of the most profound statements of the talk yesterday. More the energy behind it, because ultimately words fail to Capture THIS, Just This!)
Peter Replied Part 1: Yes, yes it is all simply but this. Nothing has ever been missing, except the belief that it is.
Peter Replied Part 2: I'm not minimizing the power of the belief in lack, it's what fuels our economy and has it's roots in sheer physical survival. But seeing it for what it is, is often helpful in releasing it. As it releases, prosperity effortlessly fills the void. The belief that you have to chase it equates to the subconscious belief that it's difficult. Which of course it is because it is believed to be. Therefore we chase techniques, teachers and programs for the magic key to prosperity. And of course, if we really wear ourselves out we can collect enough green stuff to live more comfortable, but no one that I know has ever found any peace in doing so. However, the fear of the survival of the separate self is indeed quite powerful. Now this doesn't mean we don't take some actions, but unless they are playful and carefree no real comfort will ensue. Money is easy when you don't care, the moment you do it runs away
Dear Friends, What did you receive from our live call with Tristan yesterday? What did you like the best?
I replied: When you said to paraphrase a bit: Don't demand life to be a certain way, just wait and allow the Universe to serve you in a timely way. Drop concepts and ideas and allow life to unfold as it does. What we truly are never worries about a thing!
I am at a point when I am back to manifesting abundance and I just need to trust the Universe will serve me in a timely way and not worry about money. If I reflect back on the past 5 months, I have manifested abundance fairly effortlessly, yet I still worry...LOL. Which is why this was music to my soul hearing you say the above.
ALSO, I loved when you said:
"It is This! It is the sudden Cry of Ah This!"
(while that doesn't sound like anything special, to me it was one of the most profound statements of the talk yesterday. More the energy behind it, because ultimately words fail to Capture THIS, Just This!)
Peter Replied Part 1: Yes, yes it is all simply but this. Nothing has ever been missing, except the belief that it is.
Peter Replied Part 2: I'm not minimizing the power of the belief in lack, it's what fuels our economy and has it's roots in sheer physical survival. But seeing it for what it is, is often helpful in releasing it. As it releases, prosperity effortlessly fills the void. The belief that you have to chase it equates to the subconscious belief that it's difficult. Which of course it is because it is believed to be. Therefore we chase techniques, teachers and programs for the magic key to prosperity. And of course, if we really wear ourselves out we can collect enough green stuff to live more comfortable, but no one that I know has ever found any peace in doing so. However, the fear of the survival of the separate self is indeed quite powerful. Now this doesn't mean we don't take some actions, but unless they are playful and carefree no real comfort will ensue. Money is easy when you don't care, the moment you do it runs away
Peter Posted:
Yesterday Katrina quoted my favorite verse from Sosan: "To set what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind."
This also got me thinking about my second favorite quote from Saint Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
Both of these quotes are so powerful and I try to live with them both in my heart and mind on a daily basis. Some days I do better than others. It is a continual practice.
Do these quotes hold meaning for you also? If so, how do you practice them in your daily life?
https://www.bmcm.org/inspiration/passages/prayer-saint-francis/
This passage is published in Easwaran’s spiritual anthologies, “God Makes the Rivers to Flow” and “Timeless Wisdom.” The audio recording is by Eknath Easwaran.
Yesterday Katrina quoted my favorite verse from Sosan: "To set what you like against what you dislike is the disease of the mind."
This also got me thinking about my second favorite quote from Saint Francis of Assisi:
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.
Both of these quotes are so powerful and I try to live with them both in my heart and mind on a daily basis. Some days I do better than others. It is a continual practice.
Do these quotes hold meaning for you also? If so, how do you practice them in your daily life?
https://www.bmcm.org/inspiration/passages/prayer-saint-francis/
This passage is published in Easwaran’s spiritual anthologies, “God Makes the Rivers to Flow” and “Timeless Wisdom.” The audio recording is by Eknath Easwaran.
Peter’s Reflection November 2023
Enter the World Again (Homecoming)
The bold fearlessness indicated in the poem is actually a reflection of "I" lessness.
The picking and choosing has ceased and only in its absence are gentleness and compassion revealed.
The gateless gate is entered only with the keys of nonpreference.
There is no desire to appear special. Being open and empty, the warmth of the heart flows effortlessly without design or pretense.
There is no one to impress because there is no one.
This being has met itself full circle
I replied:
Very beautiful Peter!
Taking this all in it seems to me that this course is more about Being than about Doing (anything..lol), but yet as you said in a past call, the "I AM" is a verb and not a noun.
I was reading Ramana and he talks about the futility of "doing" any practices, as the only thing that is needed is to just Be/Being! Yet, this Being is a not an object or a subject (noun), it is a verb in the sense that when subject and object fall away all there is is this actionless action (the heart open and flowing effortlessly). Ramana also said something to the effect that there is no Jnani/Sage/Knower (when people tried to call him a Jnani), only the state of Jnana/Pure Knowing/Awareness. While it all seems paradoxical a part of me is getting it because in that "state" as you say there is no one, so how could you be called a jnani, guru or sage..lol.
So this effortless, spontaneous, actionless action seems to be a very different type of verb than a "doing" action in that "this" [Pure Being] is ONLY a verb, not a verb with a subject and object (like most "doings").
I vaguely remember my mentor in quantum physics (who was very much a philosopher too), had his whole Quantum Relativity titled "Objectless Physics". The only objects were actions and there was ultimately no duality because the Actions (operators in QM), ultimately had no subject and no object. He told me he heard of some aborigine tribes had languages primarily anchored in verbs because they did not perceive the subject object duality like most of the "civilized" world does.
*Peter Responded*:
I love your sharing here! Often when people try to talk about "enlightenment" and ascribe bodily or mental experiences to it, it's like talking about how the characters on a movie screen are reciting their lines and actions. It misses the point that these experiences are not the "nothingness" they are being played upon. The screen is "objectless". There is no such thing as an enlightenment experience. That's why no techniques have ever revealed it and why Sosan states, "The more you talk and think about it the further away you wander from the truth. Stop talking and thinking about it and there is nothing you'll not be able to know..." Because, we already are that which we seek. Its the seeking that stops us. There is no knower, yet all is known. To the mind this sounds unappealing, yet just a tongue taste is enough to set one's illusionary life upside down. So here I'm mumbling stupid words saying what can't be said. Thank you for providing the dialog. Hugs!
I replied to Peter a week later: I just re-read this Peter, and it just struck me as one of my favorite comments of yours. Perhaps they are mumbling stupid words as all words are that try to describe the indescribable, but nonetheless they mellifluous mumblings soaked in honey that provide a little tiny taste..haha.
Enter the World Again (Homecoming)
The bold fearlessness indicated in the poem is actually a reflection of "I" lessness.
The picking and choosing has ceased and only in its absence are gentleness and compassion revealed.
The gateless gate is entered only with the keys of nonpreference.
There is no desire to appear special. Being open and empty, the warmth of the heart flows effortlessly without design or pretense.
There is no one to impress because there is no one.
This being has met itself full circle
I replied:
Very beautiful Peter!
Taking this all in it seems to me that this course is more about Being than about Doing (anything..lol), but yet as you said in a past call, the "I AM" is a verb and not a noun.
I was reading Ramana and he talks about the futility of "doing" any practices, as the only thing that is needed is to just Be/Being! Yet, this Being is a not an object or a subject (noun), it is a verb in the sense that when subject and object fall away all there is is this actionless action (the heart open and flowing effortlessly). Ramana also said something to the effect that there is no Jnani/Sage/Knower (when people tried to call him a Jnani), only the state of Jnana/Pure Knowing/Awareness. While it all seems paradoxical a part of me is getting it because in that "state" as you say there is no one, so how could you be called a jnani, guru or sage..lol.
So this effortless, spontaneous, actionless action seems to be a very different type of verb than a "doing" action in that "this" [Pure Being] is ONLY a verb, not a verb with a subject and object (like most "doings").
I vaguely remember my mentor in quantum physics (who was very much a philosopher too), had his whole Quantum Relativity titled "Objectless Physics". The only objects were actions and there was ultimately no duality because the Actions (operators in QM), ultimately had no subject and no object. He told me he heard of some aborigine tribes had languages primarily anchored in verbs because they did not perceive the subject object duality like most of the "civilized" world does.
*Peter Responded*:
I love your sharing here! Often when people try to talk about "enlightenment" and ascribe bodily or mental experiences to it, it's like talking about how the characters on a movie screen are reciting their lines and actions. It misses the point that these experiences are not the "nothingness" they are being played upon. The screen is "objectless". There is no such thing as an enlightenment experience. That's why no techniques have ever revealed it and why Sosan states, "The more you talk and think about it the further away you wander from the truth. Stop talking and thinking about it and there is nothing you'll not be able to know..." Because, we already are that which we seek. Its the seeking that stops us. There is no knower, yet all is known. To the mind this sounds unappealing, yet just a tongue taste is enough to set one's illusionary life upside down. So here I'm mumbling stupid words saying what can't be said. Thank you for providing the dialog. Hugs!
I replied to Peter a week later: I just re-read this Peter, and it just struck me as one of my favorite comments of yours. Perhaps they are mumbling stupid words as all words are that try to describe the indescribable, but nonetheless they mellifluous mumblings soaked in honey that provide a little tiny taste..haha.
Question #2)
How do you define beauty?
My Answer: I would define beauty for me personally as something that inspires me to write poetry (especially when the poem becomes a song). Whether divine beauty, physical beauty, art etc. I have written a lot of poems but usually they are inspired by beauty. And the poems don't seem to come to me if the beauty is lacking. How to define it? I guess it is very subjective, but speaking from my experience, the inner poet in me arises when beauty sings to my heart. Looking back, I can see many of the poems were foolish fancies for pretty women, but they still ended up being very inspiring poems when I re-read them. At other times they have been more spiritually inspired. Once I met an older Indian women at Song of the Morning named Shree who I had a very powerful emotional connection with, like she was my own mother. When I held her hand, a flood of love rushed into my heart. I wrote a couple poems of love to her (one was a song), more as a child loving his mother (even though I just met her). In this case it was a beauty of a relationship that seemed to transcend lifetimes. It was not physical beauty at all, but the beauty of a soul connection. I have had some other experiences like that too, but that one in particular was very powerful.
Peter Replied: Very beautiful. Several Indian women from Song of the Morning came to Mystic Mountain many times. Yes, beauty defies description, be it the physical beauty of a body or a mountain, the magnetic draw remains. As is the invisible beauty many people radiate that just makes you want to hug them. I find it is so easy to fall in love with people when I see their inner (as well as outer) beauty.
I responded: Very nice Peter, thank you so much for sharing that!
Your words here remind me of a quote from Keats which I see in a new light:
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
It is humbling a bit because I recognize I am not quite there yet, but when you talk about an invisible beauty many people radiate, that is the One Self, the Screen of Awareness which is nothing other than Love (which is none other than our very own Self). Perhaps when we see THAT in others, that is the truest Beauty. When we see it in All (including of course ourself), we Awaken?
How do you define beauty?
My Answer: I would define beauty for me personally as something that inspires me to write poetry (especially when the poem becomes a song). Whether divine beauty, physical beauty, art etc. I have written a lot of poems but usually they are inspired by beauty. And the poems don't seem to come to me if the beauty is lacking. How to define it? I guess it is very subjective, but speaking from my experience, the inner poet in me arises when beauty sings to my heart. Looking back, I can see many of the poems were foolish fancies for pretty women, but they still ended up being very inspiring poems when I re-read them. At other times they have been more spiritually inspired. Once I met an older Indian women at Song of the Morning named Shree who I had a very powerful emotional connection with, like she was my own mother. When I held her hand, a flood of love rushed into my heart. I wrote a couple poems of love to her (one was a song), more as a child loving his mother (even though I just met her). In this case it was a beauty of a relationship that seemed to transcend lifetimes. It was not physical beauty at all, but the beauty of a soul connection. I have had some other experiences like that too, but that one in particular was very powerful.
Peter Replied: Very beautiful. Several Indian women from Song of the Morning came to Mystic Mountain many times. Yes, beauty defies description, be it the physical beauty of a body or a mountain, the magnetic draw remains. As is the invisible beauty many people radiate that just makes you want to hug them. I find it is so easy to fall in love with people when I see their inner (as well as outer) beauty.
I responded: Very nice Peter, thank you so much for sharing that!
Your words here remind me of a quote from Keats which I see in a new light:
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."
It is humbling a bit because I recognize I am not quite there yet, but when you talk about an invisible beauty many people radiate, that is the One Self, the Screen of Awareness which is nothing other than Love (which is none other than our very own Self). Perhaps when we see THAT in others, that is the truest Beauty. When we see it in All (including of course ourself), we Awaken?
Question #3)
What's your favorite story about yourself?
My Answer: It's a story of a quixotic young man on fire with God realization so much so that he renounced the world and went to India to become a monk in pursuit of Enlightenment. This epic journey had many exciting experiences, many ups and downs, and even an embarassing failed romance. Even though he spent countless hours over these six months serving his Guru and meditating every possible chance he could get, our hero became very ill about 6 months into his noble quest.
Not only that but his Visa expired before he thought which got him in trouble with the ashram staff and even the local police. So he was cast out of the ashram and had to go to the police station. This unfortunate chain of events forced our aspiring yogi to return home after 6 months of wholehearted pursuit. Sadly our spiritual Don Quixote did not carry the torch of enlightenment as he rode home, but instead found himself his nearly deathly ill with a parasite infection. So this six month of desperate seeking is probably best described as a tragic comedy (perhaps slightly inspirational..lol), but it is the best story I have to share (Introductory Cliff Notes version).
Actually at this point in my life it is no longer a tragic comedy, but a full blown comedy.
Peter Replied: I've gotten bits and pieces of your story over the years and I'm still impressed by your supreme commitment. I was just thinking today of how many people say they're ready, but at the slightest challenges they quit their quest. I again applaud you!!! I'm honored to have your friendship. PS/ Monasteries regularly test the egos of new arrivals (much like the military does) to see who washes out. How few realize the challenge is not with others but with the egoic mind itself. Here no monastery, no teacher, no drill sergeant is required. The mind is the biggest challenge to be met. The moment we see that, we often just laugh.
What's your favorite story about yourself?
My Answer: It's a story of a quixotic young man on fire with God realization so much so that he renounced the world and went to India to become a monk in pursuit of Enlightenment. This epic journey had many exciting experiences, many ups and downs, and even an embarassing failed romance. Even though he spent countless hours over these six months serving his Guru and meditating every possible chance he could get, our hero became very ill about 6 months into his noble quest.
Not only that but his Visa expired before he thought which got him in trouble with the ashram staff and even the local police. So he was cast out of the ashram and had to go to the police station. This unfortunate chain of events forced our aspiring yogi to return home after 6 months of wholehearted pursuit. Sadly our spiritual Don Quixote did not carry the torch of enlightenment as he rode home, but instead found himself his nearly deathly ill with a parasite infection. So this six month of desperate seeking is probably best described as a tragic comedy (perhaps slightly inspirational..lol), but it is the best story I have to share (Introductory Cliff Notes version).
Actually at this point in my life it is no longer a tragic comedy, but a full blown comedy.
Peter Replied: I've gotten bits and pieces of your story over the years and I'm still impressed by your supreme commitment. I was just thinking today of how many people say they're ready, but at the slightest challenges they quit their quest. I again applaud you!!! I'm honored to have your friendship. PS/ Monasteries regularly test the egos of new arrivals (much like the military does) to see who washes out. How few realize the challenge is not with others but with the egoic mind itself. Here no monastery, no teacher, no drill sergeant is required. The mind is the biggest challenge to be met. The moment we see that, we often just laugh.
Question #4)
What small things can you do today to show yourself grace?
I responded: I was enquiring into Who am I today for longer than usual with a couple nice little glimpses. As Ramana says, Grace is always present. So the best thing I can do any day to show myself Grace is to allow it to just shine by just Being. This is harder than it seems as the mind likes to spoil the party...lol.
So spending some time with myself every day in this turning within Inquiry (Self Attentiveness) is the best way I know how to show myself Grace.
Peter Replied: I applaud your returning again and again to the question. You already know there's nothing intellectual about this. That's what stops most folks in their tracks. Grace is the gracefulness with which we engage with the question. No stumbling, no trying to come up with cute replies, just exercising brutal self-honesty and refusing to accept anything but reality. No lying to a self that sees through all falsehoods.
I replied: Nicely said, thanks for sharing that!! . I love how you say "Grace is the gracefulness which which we engage with the question". That is one worth pondering!
The Brutal self-honesty is the tough one, but it is becoming more and more apparent that that is the only way.
What small things can you do today to show yourself grace?
I responded: I was enquiring into Who am I today for longer than usual with a couple nice little glimpses. As Ramana says, Grace is always present. So the best thing I can do any day to show myself Grace is to allow it to just shine by just Being. This is harder than it seems as the mind likes to spoil the party...lol.
So spending some time with myself every day in this turning within Inquiry (Self Attentiveness) is the best way I know how to show myself Grace.
Peter Replied: I applaud your returning again and again to the question. You already know there's nothing intellectual about this. That's what stops most folks in their tracks. Grace is the gracefulness with which we engage with the question. No stumbling, no trying to come up with cute replies, just exercising brutal self-honesty and refusing to accept anything but reality. No lying to a self that sees through all falsehoods.
I replied: Nicely said, thanks for sharing that!! . I love how you say "Grace is the gracefulness which which we engage with the question". That is one worth pondering!
The Brutal self-honesty is the tough one, but it is becoming more and more apparent that that is the only way.
I am inspired to share this quote by Bodhidharma as it really "hit home" for me.
"If you use your mind to understand reality, you won’t understand either your mind or reality. If you study reality without using your mind, you’ll understand both. Seen with true vision, form isn’t simply form, because form depends on mind. And mind isn’t simply form because mind depends on form. Mind and form create and negate each other. The mind and the world are opposites, and vision arises where they meet. When your mind doesn’t stir inside, the world doesn’t stir outside. When the world and the mind are both transparent, this is true vision. And such understanding is true understanding. Understanding without understanding is true understanding. And true understanding isn’t just understanding understanding. It’s also understanding not understanding. If you understand anything, you don’t understand. Only when you understand nothing is it true understanding. Understanding is neither understanding nor not understanding. Do you understand?"
- Bodhidharma
"If you use your mind to understand reality, you won’t understand either your mind or reality. If you study reality without using your mind, you’ll understand both. Seen with true vision, form isn’t simply form, because form depends on mind. And mind isn’t simply form because mind depends on form. Mind and form create and negate each other. The mind and the world are opposites, and vision arises where they meet. When your mind doesn’t stir inside, the world doesn’t stir outside. When the world and the mind are both transparent, this is true vision. And such understanding is true understanding. Understanding without understanding is true understanding. And true understanding isn’t just understanding understanding. It’s also understanding not understanding. If you understand anything, you don’t understand. Only when you understand nothing is it true understanding. Understanding is neither understanding nor not understanding. Do you understand?"
- Bodhidharma
2nd Call of November Takeaway
My Takeaways from the call...
The energy of "lightness" during the call was very strong.
To take from my notes some things you said"
"Lighten up... Minute we lighten up we get glimpse of our freedom."
"There is only this, this Presence. We lighten up and have more joy."
"Lighten up on your issues."
I literally felt my body being more light and transparent for a short while during the call but then it wore off. You mentioned spiraling up the mountain and getting lighter and lighter like a cloud and the zen circle walking where you end up walking on air. I could really feel that lightness for a bit.
What can I say - I like it!
Peter Replied:
Thank you! The beauty of our non-dual sight is that we see ourselves as peacemakers, unifiers, as being able to bring all the broken pieces together again. How? Because we no longer see the world as broken, then suddenly our earthly experience changes! No longer can we find reasons to be upset, angry, judgmental. Of course others (of which there are none) have the world of their thoughts and see an entirely different day to day experience. But for those who are consciously aware of walking the pathless path, the exquisite lightness of being, the luminous presence they float upon, transcends the illusion of darkness and egoic suffering and leads them to transcendence. The little cloud hugs the sky and goes beyond, beyond to that which it always was. This is our journey together. For I cannot go without you coming along.
Peter Added: (to another Comment about kindness not being premeditated) Yes, you said it - daily presence. Kindness is who we are at our very core. I've found the moment I strip away the mask of self, my love light always shines on everyone.
My added insight from last night reading Ramana:
The Greating Service we can provide is waking up. If we are dreaming at night and there are injured and dying people in the dream, by waking up the suffering disappears.
My Takeaways from the call...
The energy of "lightness" during the call was very strong.
To take from my notes some things you said"
"Lighten up... Minute we lighten up we get glimpse of our freedom."
"There is only this, this Presence. We lighten up and have more joy."
"Lighten up on your issues."
I literally felt my body being more light and transparent for a short while during the call but then it wore off. You mentioned spiraling up the mountain and getting lighter and lighter like a cloud and the zen circle walking where you end up walking on air. I could really feel that lightness for a bit.
What can I say - I like it!
Peter Replied:
Thank you! The beauty of our non-dual sight is that we see ourselves as peacemakers, unifiers, as being able to bring all the broken pieces together again. How? Because we no longer see the world as broken, then suddenly our earthly experience changes! No longer can we find reasons to be upset, angry, judgmental. Of course others (of which there are none) have the world of their thoughts and see an entirely different day to day experience. But for those who are consciously aware of walking the pathless path, the exquisite lightness of being, the luminous presence they float upon, transcends the illusion of darkness and egoic suffering and leads them to transcendence. The little cloud hugs the sky and goes beyond, beyond to that which it always was. This is our journey together. For I cannot go without you coming along.
Peter Added: (to another Comment about kindness not being premeditated) Yes, you said it - daily presence. Kindness is who we are at our very core. I've found the moment I strip away the mask of self, my love light always shines on everyone.
My added insight from last night reading Ramana:
The Greating Service we can provide is waking up. If we are dreaming at night and there are injured and dying people in the dream, by waking up the suffering disappears.
Peter Posted:
Many years ago I read this verse from The Bhagavad Gita. I'll treasure these words ever more. They echo deeply in my memory, and serve as a reflection that I ponder each day.
"That one I love who is incapable of ill will, and returns love for hatred. Living beyond the reach of I and mine, and of pain and pleasure, full of mercy, contented, self-controlled, of firm resolve, with all his heart and all his mind given to Me – with such a one I am in love."
Do you find these words meaningful? What do they mean to you? I look forward to reading your responses.
I replied:
Yes this is meaningful. To me this points to the self shining love of the Self, truly falling in love with your own Self which is the Self of all. It is a great reminder not to look for love outside of myself (which I still do..lol).
Because all there is is this Awareness, the love we are all really looking for is This! Even though I am always seeing this, but "Really" seeing THIS seems to still be difficult because this little Bryant ego is still riding his bull and chasing desires... But ever so slowly it is getting lighter.
It is also to me a beautiful poetic way of showing the Self playing hide and seek with itself, and it the end coming full circle and falling in love with ItSelf. A Self-Shining Love that has been there for us all along even as we run after shadows
**Peter Replied**:
I've always asked, when does the separate self become "...incapable of ill will"? Not simply refraining from reacting (which would only be restraining the impulse to counter another's position or belief) But to actually be unable to retaliate, argue or complain? Of course, there are many layers to this and I'm not including physical survival and protection from those types of attack. I find meditations on such questions dig deeply beyond the self. Your thoughts? ps this is not to say that the separate self seeing an us vs them world doesn't take a rational position, but yet it does so from a neutral center, from the zero point.
I responded:
Thank you for this reply Peter.
Would it be correct to say in the light of the 10 bulls of zen the lightening of the bull is akin to the separate self getting lighter and lighter (not arguing, complaining, etc) to the point of disappearing would be needed to have no reactions at all naturally and without effort. That is, wouldn't the person have to "disappear" to get to that point? Or maybe when we are riding the bull home that state becomes possible??
It does seem natural that although the Self is always ever shining here and now, because of all these layers of conditioning, a "seeming" process of lightening up is very much required except perhaps in rare cases. Otherwise everyone would be enlightened if it was so easy...lol.. I know it ultimately it is easy once you are there, but the radical self honesty you talk about is NOT easy at all, but something I am realizing more and more is needed. It is a balance of not being hard on myself but yet still demanding more discipline and better excellence. I wish I could make this more fun and playful..lol.
I know more words, but I still do struggle with the layers of conditioning.
Peter Replied: Yes, as the bull gets lighter, one is no longer issue bound. Yet while still in human form we tame the bull (our emotions/conditionings etc...) and just ride along, carefree knowing no one will be able to push our buttons. We see beyond the trivial matters that steal away less aware personalities. Homeward bound we look to the mountain peak and step beyond the masses. "Gone, gone, gone beyond". Knowing our true nature, even the body becomes less important as that too lightens and becomes transparent, as the world too seems more dreamy and unreal. We laugh that we once sought salvation in changing what cannot be changed. That too, we surrender to the light of pure knowing. "Form is emptiness and emptiness is form." But know it is no longer an idea, it is the experience of all that is. "Words, the way is beyond words for in it there is no tomorrow, no yesterday, no today."
I replied: Once again thank you Peter. I was listening to that full circle song I shared, which just by "chance" played on Shuffle and it moved me to tears a bit. I so appreciate each of the comments by you and others in this course, I just don't want this full circle to end.
I was contemplating last night what you said, "when the does separate self become incapable of ill will" (and not have any buttons to be pushed)? It is like a Koan with no answer, but such a beautiful contemplation. Actually this is one of your best contemplations!
I really want to be a better person for lack of better words (no ill will, bad habits and buttons to push, etc), and with some brutal honesty last night I took inventory of some of my habits and patterns I am not proud of. I know I have a lot of good qualities, and have to be equally proud of that, but in polishing this separate self into a diamond that only shines with no reactions or triggers, such brutal honesty is becoming very clear to me much much needed. I am inspired to get back to daily journaling to help in this process.
Gosh it is so humbling it makes me break down in tears, and cry Why Bryant , Why??? Then of course the question comes back to Who Am I? Who has these bad habits and desires?
But then there is the beauty of "Just This" timelessly here/now, which gives a fresh start each moment to shine like the sun! That gives me not hope, but optimism that these desires, triggers, ill will, etc shall pass as the bull lightens spiraling upwards on the beautiful pathless path. Full circle seems more of a full spiral with an ending that is a point at the summit, which is where we started.
I have this vision of an enso painting that is spiraling from a point outward and then reaching a turning point to then spiraling back inward full circle/spiral to a point which we never really left and was with us all along.
Peter Replied: If you noticed, in the first drawing of the Bull pictures, the bull isn't in the drawing. Often, folks just realizing a spiritual hunger think they've already arrived without paying any attention to their desires, behavior and reactions. Often at this stage some may walk a little bit on the path and then quit. But, if one continues to examine, they realize the depth of the surrender that's being called for. Hence, "The dark night of the soul" experience. It's where we often want to fall apart in what we think are failures, vices, dishonesties etc... These experiences are very positive mile markers. The bull has just lightened. At the same time, the world has just lightened and you have gotten to float above all those grief-filled silly concerns that show up on the circle. I will always be walking with you, so if you start laughing, you'll be hearing me too. I'm hugging you right now!
---
Someone else commented on this post:
One who hopes for the good in everyone and loves the "higher self" in all people (including neighbors). Perhaps this is where complete peace is found. Yes?
Peter Replied: Yes, being at peace in your heart with everyone. Of course, it doesn't mean we agree with certain behaviors or condone certain actions. It just means not throwing others out of our heart. For me its never a matter of other people changing (most will never be any different during an entire lifetime). But it has always been a matter that I made the changes to make me the person I am today. None of my changes were easy. That's why I realize many people will remain the same. However, the issue is never about others, but about the example I must set for my self. And in that, my peace is discovered and allowed to flow.
The person replied: Yes, the issue is never anyone else. I appreciate that you always point inwards. Perhaps that is the only place resolve is found. Were the changes you made all done through uncomfortable situations? This may sound like an odd question, How does one change oneself?
**Peter Replied**
First, you don't change yourself. You simply find yourself. Finding your true essence allows all the unwanted parts to simply fall away. Every single one of my "uncomfortable situations" was needed for me to see beyond them. I also took the first steps to physically remove myself from several situations, because peace was more important to me than discord. But even the discord showed me my real inner strength. Just like I see the courageous way you also made some very hard decisions and how much you've grown from them. Hugs!!!
Many years ago I read this verse from The Bhagavad Gita. I'll treasure these words ever more. They echo deeply in my memory, and serve as a reflection that I ponder each day.
"That one I love who is incapable of ill will, and returns love for hatred. Living beyond the reach of I and mine, and of pain and pleasure, full of mercy, contented, self-controlled, of firm resolve, with all his heart and all his mind given to Me – with such a one I am in love."
Do you find these words meaningful? What do they mean to you? I look forward to reading your responses.
I replied:
Yes this is meaningful. To me this points to the self shining love of the Self, truly falling in love with your own Self which is the Self of all. It is a great reminder not to look for love outside of myself (which I still do..lol).
Because all there is is this Awareness, the love we are all really looking for is This! Even though I am always seeing this, but "Really" seeing THIS seems to still be difficult because this little Bryant ego is still riding his bull and chasing desires... But ever so slowly it is getting lighter.
It is also to me a beautiful poetic way of showing the Self playing hide and seek with itself, and it the end coming full circle and falling in love with ItSelf. A Self-Shining Love that has been there for us all along even as we run after shadows
**Peter Replied**:
I've always asked, when does the separate self become "...incapable of ill will"? Not simply refraining from reacting (which would only be restraining the impulse to counter another's position or belief) But to actually be unable to retaliate, argue or complain? Of course, there are many layers to this and I'm not including physical survival and protection from those types of attack. I find meditations on such questions dig deeply beyond the self. Your thoughts? ps this is not to say that the separate self seeing an us vs them world doesn't take a rational position, but yet it does so from a neutral center, from the zero point.
I responded:
Thank you for this reply Peter.
Would it be correct to say in the light of the 10 bulls of zen the lightening of the bull is akin to the separate self getting lighter and lighter (not arguing, complaining, etc) to the point of disappearing would be needed to have no reactions at all naturally and without effort. That is, wouldn't the person have to "disappear" to get to that point? Or maybe when we are riding the bull home that state becomes possible??
It does seem natural that although the Self is always ever shining here and now, because of all these layers of conditioning, a "seeming" process of lightening up is very much required except perhaps in rare cases. Otherwise everyone would be enlightened if it was so easy...lol.. I know it ultimately it is easy once you are there, but the radical self honesty you talk about is NOT easy at all, but something I am realizing more and more is needed. It is a balance of not being hard on myself but yet still demanding more discipline and better excellence. I wish I could make this more fun and playful..lol.
I know more words, but I still do struggle with the layers of conditioning.
Peter Replied: Yes, as the bull gets lighter, one is no longer issue bound. Yet while still in human form we tame the bull (our emotions/conditionings etc...) and just ride along, carefree knowing no one will be able to push our buttons. We see beyond the trivial matters that steal away less aware personalities. Homeward bound we look to the mountain peak and step beyond the masses. "Gone, gone, gone beyond". Knowing our true nature, even the body becomes less important as that too lightens and becomes transparent, as the world too seems more dreamy and unreal. We laugh that we once sought salvation in changing what cannot be changed. That too, we surrender to the light of pure knowing. "Form is emptiness and emptiness is form." But know it is no longer an idea, it is the experience of all that is. "Words, the way is beyond words for in it there is no tomorrow, no yesterday, no today."
I replied: Once again thank you Peter. I was listening to that full circle song I shared, which just by "chance" played on Shuffle and it moved me to tears a bit. I so appreciate each of the comments by you and others in this course, I just don't want this full circle to end.
I was contemplating last night what you said, "when the does separate self become incapable of ill will" (and not have any buttons to be pushed)? It is like a Koan with no answer, but such a beautiful contemplation. Actually this is one of your best contemplations!
I really want to be a better person for lack of better words (no ill will, bad habits and buttons to push, etc), and with some brutal honesty last night I took inventory of some of my habits and patterns I am not proud of. I know I have a lot of good qualities, and have to be equally proud of that, but in polishing this separate self into a diamond that only shines with no reactions or triggers, such brutal honesty is becoming very clear to me much much needed. I am inspired to get back to daily journaling to help in this process.
Gosh it is so humbling it makes me break down in tears, and cry Why Bryant , Why??? Then of course the question comes back to Who Am I? Who has these bad habits and desires?
But then there is the beauty of "Just This" timelessly here/now, which gives a fresh start each moment to shine like the sun! That gives me not hope, but optimism that these desires, triggers, ill will, etc shall pass as the bull lightens spiraling upwards on the beautiful pathless path. Full circle seems more of a full spiral with an ending that is a point at the summit, which is where we started.
I have this vision of an enso painting that is spiraling from a point outward and then reaching a turning point to then spiraling back inward full circle/spiral to a point which we never really left and was with us all along.
Peter Replied: If you noticed, in the first drawing of the Bull pictures, the bull isn't in the drawing. Often, folks just realizing a spiritual hunger think they've already arrived without paying any attention to their desires, behavior and reactions. Often at this stage some may walk a little bit on the path and then quit. But, if one continues to examine, they realize the depth of the surrender that's being called for. Hence, "The dark night of the soul" experience. It's where we often want to fall apart in what we think are failures, vices, dishonesties etc... These experiences are very positive mile markers. The bull has just lightened. At the same time, the world has just lightened and you have gotten to float above all those grief-filled silly concerns that show up on the circle. I will always be walking with you, so if you start laughing, you'll be hearing me too. I'm hugging you right now!
---
Someone else commented on this post:
One who hopes for the good in everyone and loves the "higher self" in all people (including neighbors). Perhaps this is where complete peace is found. Yes?
Peter Replied: Yes, being at peace in your heart with everyone. Of course, it doesn't mean we agree with certain behaviors or condone certain actions. It just means not throwing others out of our heart. For me its never a matter of other people changing (most will never be any different during an entire lifetime). But it has always been a matter that I made the changes to make me the person I am today. None of my changes were easy. That's why I realize many people will remain the same. However, the issue is never about others, but about the example I must set for my self. And in that, my peace is discovered and allowed to flow.
The person replied: Yes, the issue is never anyone else. I appreciate that you always point inwards. Perhaps that is the only place resolve is found. Were the changes you made all done through uncomfortable situations? This may sound like an odd question, How does one change oneself?
**Peter Replied**
First, you don't change yourself. You simply find yourself. Finding your true essence allows all the unwanted parts to simply fall away. Every single one of my "uncomfortable situations" was needed for me to see beyond them. I also took the first steps to physically remove myself from several situations, because peace was more important to me than discord. But even the discord showed me my real inner strength. Just like I see the courageous way you also made some very hard decisions and how much you've grown from them. Hugs!!!
Second Call November
The Gifted Return
1st picture
Looks for a bull and missing. Discovers something is missing.
Analogy or depiction of a power within ourselves.
Not recognizing it, we notice we have hot passions, strong likes and dislikes.
Drives sexual, drive attention, drive success, drive to have our ego stroked.
Even our hearts desires, and dislikes, that energy is still the bulls energy.
First identify that power.
That energy is the energy of the universe, and we are that.
Finally come to last picture from Gifted Return.
Everything he sees, he sees enlightened.
Gifted return coming back to the everyday marketplace.
Everyday life wherever that takes you.
Caught the bull, tamed the bull and watched the Bull lighten and lighten and finally disappear.
Such a One is Free.
Kindness is never premeditated
Kind people are kind, nice people are nice.
Take and orange and you squeeze it and what it inside it comes out. Put people under pressure and what is inside comes out.
We become peacemakers , agents of kindness.
The sweeter and more fragrant our days become.
It is so vividly alive when we are out of the way.
Self is like a piece of colored glass.
We look through the glass
The more beautiful the colors, the more beautiful the thoughts , the more beautiful things appear to be.
All there is is beauty.
Beauty is presence, because Presence is transparency.
I thought:
Perhaps beauty IS the eye/seer of the beholder.
Mind plays tricks on us?
How often we are influenced by appearances
We set what we like against what we dislike and take sides.
Grace means that I can be myself.
I don't worry or complain... Things are as they are.My life simply is as it is.
My thoughts created conditions of my life. None of that truly matters anymore.
Total acceptance is giving myself grace. Grace allows me to be lazy and to nap without guilt.
Grace says I can just be an ordinary person doing ordinary things with no mantle of specialness.
There is Noone to impress because there is no one.
You already know everything if you don't think about it.
Early on the bull is real and heavy. We are pulled behind our desires.
Humans don't lighten up and play the part of the big heavy bull. Bull tramples over things and breaks things.
Tame the bull when our bull runs wild and breaks and smashes things.
Seriousness is cancer of the soul.
Going around circle is like spiraling up to the peak
What do you do when you reach the peak? You disappear into the air like clouds.
Comparison of being a white cloud. Ready to be absorbed by the sky.
Walking on air , higher and higher dissolve.
Blink of an eye and nothing has changed.
I'll see you in a heartbeat.
The Gifted Return
1st picture
Looks for a bull and missing. Discovers something is missing.
Analogy or depiction of a power within ourselves.
Not recognizing it, we notice we have hot passions, strong likes and dislikes.
Drives sexual, drive attention, drive success, drive to have our ego stroked.
Even our hearts desires, and dislikes, that energy is still the bulls energy.
First identify that power.
That energy is the energy of the universe, and we are that.
Finally come to last picture from Gifted Return.
Everything he sees, he sees enlightened.
Gifted return coming back to the everyday marketplace.
Everyday life wherever that takes you.
Caught the bull, tamed the bull and watched the Bull lighten and lighten and finally disappear.
Such a One is Free.
Kindness is never premeditated
Kind people are kind, nice people are nice.
Take and orange and you squeeze it and what it inside it comes out. Put people under pressure and what is inside comes out.
We become peacemakers , agents of kindness.
The sweeter and more fragrant our days become.
It is so vividly alive when we are out of the way.
Self is like a piece of colored glass.
We look through the glass
The more beautiful the colors, the more beautiful the thoughts , the more beautiful things appear to be.
All there is is beauty.
Beauty is presence, because Presence is transparency.
I thought:
Perhaps beauty IS the eye/seer of the beholder.
Mind plays tricks on us?
How often we are influenced by appearances
We set what we like against what we dislike and take sides.
Grace means that I can be myself.
I don't worry or complain... Things are as they are.My life simply is as it is.
My thoughts created conditions of my life. None of that truly matters anymore.
Total acceptance is giving myself grace. Grace allows me to be lazy and to nap without guilt.
Grace says I can just be an ordinary person doing ordinary things with no mantle of specialness.
There is Noone to impress because there is no one.
You already know everything if you don't think about it.
Early on the bull is real and heavy. We are pulled behind our desires.
Humans don't lighten up and play the part of the big heavy bull. Bull tramples over things and breaks things.
Tame the bull when our bull runs wild and breaks and smashes things.
Seriousness is cancer of the soul.
Going around circle is like spiraling up to the peak
What do you do when you reach the peak? You disappear into the air like clouds.
Comparison of being a white cloud. Ready to be absorbed by the sky.
Walking on air , higher and higher dissolve.
Blink of an eye and nothing has changed.
I'll see you in a heartbeat.